


Life's Passions

by BarbMacK



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Cullen, Hate to Love, Please Don't Hate Me, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-16 11:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14810900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbMacK/pseuds/BarbMacK
Summary: He had a bad day once.  It ruined her life and she's hated him ever since.  Now with the Maker's sense of humor she knows so well, she has been thrown into a position where she must work with the very people she wants to kill.Knight-Templar Augustus,Knight-Templar Rutherford, Sister Leliana, Divine Justinia.This was just a random idea that kept coming back.  I wasn't sure if Inq could get past her hate enough to like him, but I'm starting to think Cullen Charm can win over anyone.Rape/Non-con events are involved, and may be hinted at, but not directly shown within story





	1. Nightmares

_Britania knew she was in trouble.  She was walking quickly down the hall from the library, trying to not let panic overwhelm her.  If she could...all she needed was...Maker if she could just think straight for just a moment.  But she couldn't.  Her eyes were darting and wild, trying to find..._

_And then she saw him.  What had Fiyo said about him?  The kindest, sweetest Templar she had known?  Handing out candy hidden away in his armour to any child that might give him the smallest of pleading eyes?  Bless the Maker for sending him here, to her Circle in her time of need._

_"Knight-Templar, a moment," she said hesitantly as she approached him._

_He turned to face her and what she saw was nearly the complete opposite of what Fiyo had described.  His jaw clenched tight and a look of barely tolerating intrusion spread across his face.  "What is it, mage?"_

_She felt like she had been slapped.  No, punched in the stomach, all the air rushing out of her with just that one word.  ' **Mage** '.  How could that one word be filled with so much hate and distaste as---_

_Her thoughts were cut off as he spoke again, clearly tired of waiting for her to speak.  "I'm busy.  If you have nothing to say, then I will take my leave."_

_Without her even realizing anyone else was near, she suddenly felt fingers wrap around her upper arm so tight she knew she'd have bruises later.  "Sorry she disturbed you, Knight-Templar.  She's...a troublemaker.  I'll escort her back to her quarters so she doesn't disturb you further."_

_"Thank you, Augustus," he gave a small smile and walked away._

_~~~_

_She didn't see him again until a week later, not that she had attempted to seek him out.  She was reading in the library, curled in one of the back corners where someone had hidden cushions for them for this very purpose when she'd heard his voice._

_Seeing him, she quickly decided she no longer wanted to be in the library.  She stashed the cushion behind the shelf and returned her book to its place before making her way quietly down the aisle towards the exit._

_She heard him calling her name but pretended not to hear it as she walked out.  She didn't make it far before she felt his hand on her arm.  She immediately pulled out of his grip, turning on him in a defensive stance._

_He raised both his hands in a show of non-hostility, though she knew his hands being bare in no way meant she was safe from him.  "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said with a smile._

_It made her feel sick to the stomach to see him like that.  She said nothing, not trusting her voice, instead just raising a brow at him in question._

_"Right.  Last week you wanted to talk to me.  I was having a bad day and I brushed you off.  I just wanted to check if the matter had been resolved in the mean time?" he asked._

_She gaped at him.  "You...you were having a bad day?" she spat._

_His smile was gone.  "Watch your tone, mage."  He had dropped his hands, the earlier truce over._

_Standing to her full height, she forced herself into perfect posture before she spoke.  "Yes, it resolved itself.  I will take my leave" she said, deliberately repeating his words before turning and walking away._

Britania snapped awake, her heart racing, sweat covering her body and dampening her sheets.  She swallowed back the bile that threatened to come out, forcing deep breaths of air in instead.  Of course she would have the nightmares again.  Years of forcing those emotions down until even her sleeping mind didn't dare entertain them were no match for today, a day in which she had been thrown into such a mess.

A day in which she would come face to face with both the people she intended to kill.

 ~~Knight-Templar Augustus,~~ Knight-Templar Rutherford, Sister Leliana ~~, Divine Justinia~~.


	2. Slight Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is another short one. Next is a little longer I promise.

The night air felt cool on her skin as she walked through Haven.  It was a welcome change to the stifling warmth of the cabin they had her in.

She walked along the different paths, so unbelievably quiet at this time of night.  Or more accurately, this time of early morning, since even the tavern had closed for the night.

The guards probably thought she hadn't noticed them, but there's a difference between ignoring someone and not being aware you're being watched.  It was how she noticed the sound of the pair of hands raising and dropping back down to their sides, which could only mean one thing.

He couldn't be in his armour, much as rumours were that he slept in it.  He was walking far too quietly for that.  She could even tell the moment he saw her, decided he wanted to speak with her as he purposefully walked that little bit louder (or maybe just more deliberately?), letting the gravel crunch more under his feet.

She gave him a minute of following her, waited until he was only a few feet away and likely just about to announce his presence since she'd given no outward acknowledgement of it and then spoke.  "It is rude to stalk someone, unless you have ulterior motives, in which case get on with it or leave me in peace."

He spluttered at that, and she stifled a laugh.

"Bri-britania," he stuttered out.

She turned to face him.  "Knight-Templar Rutherford.  Oh, no.  Commander Rutherford, you did mention that earlier," she feigned correcting herself, taking a certain amount of joy in his flinch at his old title.

"Cullen is fine," he told her.  There was a silence as he waited for her to accept this in which she said nothing.  He sighed.  "Have I offended you in some way?"

"Oh Commander, I know you'd never even _think_ about slighting a mage," she gushed.

He frowned at her.  "Why do I get the feeling that's an insult?"

Now Britania gave him a look of shock.  "Truly!  I don't believe you would ever think about slighting a mage."

"But not thinking it isn't the same as not doing it," he countered.

Britania was actually impressed that he'd picked up on that.  "You're smarter than you look, Commander.  Now, if there isn't anything else---"

"So I have slighted you?" he cut her off.  She sighed and he couldn't help but think she was retracting her previous statement in her mind.

"Commander, we aren't friends.  You are the Commander of the Inquisition's forces and I am the Inquisition's prisoner.  Whether I have been slighted---"

"Is that what you believe?"

"By the Maker, you do realize interrupting someone is considered a slight in certain circles?" she snapped.  His look of embarrassment soothed her annoyance, but only a little.  "There's no point discussing any grievance you've caused me because you don't give a damn about it.  All you care about is feeling better and knowing the mage will do as she's told.

I will not see Thedas fall, so to that end our goals are aligned.  But I'm not here to make you feel better, Commander.  Now I should return to preparations for tomorrow's journey.  I will take my leave." 

Though the memory was fresh thanks to the nightmares, it wasn't her repeating his words that caused her to say it now.  Now it was just her habit, her sincere sounding farewell she used when she really wanted to tell the person to be taken by the void.


	3. The War Table

Three months later.

"I was _literally_ just there for two _fucking_ months!  Why couldn't you have mentioned this, I don't know, _any_ time in the last eight weeks?" Britania groaned, as she dropped her head to the war table and let it bang against it a few times.  The others chose to stand, but they weren't the ones that had just ridden back from the Hinterlands, so they could lump it if they had issue with her sitting for this meeting.

Leliana sighed at the childish behaviour.  "We needed to be sure of the information before we had you follow it up."

"I don't give a flying nug if you weren't certain, you could've just told me and I could've dealt with it while I was there," Britania snapped back.

"What's done is done, we're telling you now," Cullen declared, wanting to end the argument.  "Leliana, just give her the details now," he added.

Leliana gave him a grateful look while Britania glared at him before dropping her head back down.

"My agents have determined he's near the waterfall not far from the Crossroads.  You should have no trouble---"

"Which waterfall?" came Britania’s muffled voice as she refused to lift her head.

Leliana frowned at her.  "Pardon?"

This time she did raise her head.  "Which waterfall?" she asked again.

"The one near the Crossroads," Leliana repeated.

Britania let out a little growl of impatience.  "Makers blue balls, you already said that.  _Which_ waterfall near the Crossroads?" she asked, before turning her attention to her pack that was still by her chair.  Scrabbling around in it, she finally pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment with a little cheer for herself.  She put it on the table, flattening it out so the others could see a larger, far messier version of the map she'd given Cullen earlier showing the proposed Watchtower locations.

"Here are the Crossroads," she jabbed her finger on the map, then thinking better of it, grabbed three of the smaller map markers from the table much to Cullen's chagrin.  "Crossroads," she repeated, placing a marker over the spot.  "There's waterfalls here and here," she continued, putting the other two markers down.  "See how they're both near the Crossroads?  Which one is this Warden fellow at?"

Leliana to her credit, did look a little embarrassed.  "I'm not sure," she began, continuing over Britania's sigh of exasperation.  "Does it matter?  They're not far from each other."

"Does it matter?  You're telling me you didn't tell me for two months straight because you didn't have enough information, and _now_ you're telling me it doesn't matter that you don't have enough information," Britania seethed. 

“Why it matters, Sister Leliana,” she continued before anyone could speak, “is that if it was reported he was near this waterfall," she indicated the waterfall further North, "then I would suspect he was the corpse we found near a small camp there, in which case there is no point going back.

However, if it's this waterfall," she pointed to the one to the South, "then you've now put me in the fantastically awkward position of returning to the man we ran into near this lake not three weeks ago who offered to join the Inquisition but whom I told it would be better if he stayed there and continued helping the people as he had been doing when we met. 

Now, I get to go back and tell him, actually, we've changed our mind now that we know who you are, and would you please join us after all, ignoring the people I said need your protection."

She pushed her seat back, "Looks like there's no point even unpacking this thing," she said as she lifted her pack and folded the map back into a pocket.  "For future, could you have your agents add a little more description to their locations?  North and South are handy.  If they can't figure out the directions, a simple 'the one near the rift with those stick demons that will likely give you four concussions before you can kill them all' or 'the one near the Carta's secret base that'll take you three days to clear out, oh and mind the Darkspawn' would suffice.

Now I'm going to go get clean and fed and sleep in an actual bed before heading back to the ass end of nowhere in the morning.  I'll take my leave," she added scornfully before leaving the room.

"Does anyone else get the feeling she hates us all?" Leliana asked when she was quite certain Britania would be out of earshot.

"With the passion of a thousand suns," Josie concurred.


	4. Krem de la Krem

Britania stormed through the Chantry, so annoyed by the meeting. Seriously, how hard would it have been for Leliana to give her that information sooner? Now to have to go back on something she’d said, not to mention going all the way back to the Hinterlands.

But more than that, she was mostly frustrated that they’d called the meeting when they had at all. She hadn’t even been off her horse before the messenger had told her they were ready for her at the War Table. She’d watched Varric and Solas head towards the Tavern for meals with more than a little jealousy.

She knew how irritable she got when she was tired, more so when hungry. Being forced into a two-hour meeting to go over what she’d already sent them in reports when they couldn’t even give her the courtesy of letting her eat, bathe and maybe even nap first? She was furious she’d let her manners slip, but there was only so much she could take.

So consumed in her raging thoughts, she didn’t even notice the man just outside the doorway until she collided with him.

“Damn it all to the void in a nug basket,” she cursed under her breath as she stood back up, brushing off her breeches.

“Sorry, ser. I should watch where I’m going better,” he said with a bit of a smile from where he remained standing.

The comment was so inane that she actually laughed. “Yes, well. We both know who was really at fault,” she replied, making to walk around him.

“Excuse me, I’ve got a message for the Inquisition, but I’m having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me,” he told her.

“Really? But they’re all so friendly and welcoming!” she said with false sincerity.

He raised his brow at her, not entirely sure how to take that. “I’m Cremisius Aclassi, with the Bull’s Chargers Mercenary Company. We---”

“Talk to Commander Rutherford, he’s head of our Forces…though I’m willing to give you a silver if you _accidentally_ happen to call him Knight-Templar instead,” she added, giving her first genuine smile.

“Umm…”

“Right, so the message isn’t really for the Inquisition, it’s for…me?” she asked, annoyed at herself for not having donned her gloves earlier, something she corrected now.

"Yes, ser. Our company mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra---"

"Cremisius, right?"

"Yes, ser."

"I want you to imagine that I've just been to the Hinterlands for two months battling rebel mages and deserter Templars, bandits and demons, and oh let's not forget the bears. I want you to imagine I returned not three hours ago, have not eaten, have not slept, have not even had a chance to deposit my travelling pack in my quarters before having to attend a meeting with my so-called advisors. Finally imagine I have only just left that meeting. Now, only once you have that well imagined, I want you to think through your message and give it to me."

Krem thought this over for a minute, and then nodded. "We're the best mercenary company in Thedas. We get the jobs done and we don't break contracts. Our commander is The Iron Bull, he leads from the front, is loyal and smart. He wants you to come watch us take down these Tevinter mercs in Storm Coast to decide whether you want to hire us."

She mulled this over and then nodded. "There's no point me watching you work. I'm not skilled enough in physical fighting to be able to judge anything beyond you survived and whether you were badly injured in doing so. If you can take down the mercs that'll save me having to do it later and will be enough of a testament to your fighting for me.

I have just one question for The Iron Bull if we're to proceed." She waited for him to raise a brow in acknowledgement before asking "Will your loyalty be to the Inquisition, or to me? If it's the former, you'll need to go through the Commander as I said earlier. If it's to me, meet me at the Hinterlands tavern within the week, preferably when I'm alone."

He frowned at her then, "Didn't you just say you were in the Hinterlands for two months?"

She gave a smile with gritted teeth. "Technically I only said you should imagine I was...but yeah, I was. My _advisors_ remembered one last job that needs to be done there urgently...by me personally...lucky me, right?"

To his credit, Krem hid his pity well, showing only empathy and understanding. "I'll make speed. If he isn't inclined, we'll send a discrete message so you don't have to wait around longer than needed."

"That is...exceptionally thoughtful. Thank you, Cremisius."

He nodded and was on his way.

Britania looked over her shoulder at the Chantry, scowling at it before heading to her cabin. She dumped her bag and was grateful to Varric or Solas, she wasn't sure which, for sending over food which she happily wolfed down in the privacy her room afforded. She used the shallow bath bowl to scrub weeks of grime from her person and then finally looked at the bed.

She was still so angry at her advisors for sending her back so soon that she knew she wasn't about to get a good night’s rest on the damn thing anyway. Instead, she tied her hair back tightly once more before picking up her pack and heading out. If they left now with a wagon, they could sleep on the back and be in the Hinterlands for supper the following night.

~~~

Cullen wasn't sure how they always roped him into these things. They were both women, clearly better equipped at talking with other women, and yet he was the one charged with going and talking to Britania.

When she was clearly annoyed at all of them.

They'd talked a bit after she'd left and thought maybe giving her a bit of a break would be a good idea. She could hold off going back until they had resources enough for the first watchtower and then travel back with his men who would be building it.

She'd marked quarries and logging sites on the map she'd given them, but they weren't sure how long it would take to get those up and running, so they decided taking enough for the first tower from resources near Haven would mean at least work could get underway as soon as they arrived, and some men would be set aside for managing the local resources while it was in progress so they should have enough for the other two by its completion.

This should give her at least a few days respite, which they had all decided she would greatly appreciate and maybe be a little more forgiving of having to go back.

To this end, Cullen also thought it was in his best interest to give her time to have a meal, a bath, and a nap, as well as just some extra relax time to help her mood before he approached. If he went straight away, she was likely to think he was just coming to give her yet more things to do and that would likely end badly for him.

So it was early evening by the time he made his way to her cabin, feeling he'd spent the time productively getting through at least a quarter of the mountain of paperwork on his desk.

He knocked politely on her door and waited. Knocked a little louder and waited some more. The third knock was possibly a bit much, but maybe she had been asleep and needed to be woken. Not that he wanted to wake her, but if she planned on travelling out at first light, it was better to wake her now and let her know than her to wake early and find she didn't need to in the morning.

He was just about to bang for a fourth and final time when the occupant of the cabin beside hers arrived home. "She was off couple hours ago, Commander," they told him, seeming a bit surprised he didn't know. "Back to the Hinterlands if I heard Varric's cursing correctly."

Cullen sighed, heading back to his own tent. He'd send a runner to let the other two know. Somehow he felt her leaving tonight when she didn't need to would earn her wrath, and had a feeling the others would blame him for not getting there before she'd left

Either way he was in trouble with all the women. This is why he should leave all the talking to women to the women he though derisively.


	5. Mornings are hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, meant to have this one up yesterday...I just haven't been able to get it to a point where it feels right, but keep getting distracted by later parts that are better at getting my attention to keep writing :#

To say Varric and Solas hadn't been pleased at her news would be an understatement.  But to their credit, they both agreed with her it was better to just get it over with rather than have one night at Haven before heading back out first thing in the morning.  It probably helped a little that they'd already had full meals and naps in the afternoon while she'd been in the meeting.

Solas shared a smile with her as they assigned Varric to first watch with the wagon driver.  They knew neither of them would get to sleep easily if he fell asleep first.  This way they should at least get a few hours, and she thought Solas would be in a deep enough sleep by the time she relieved Varric that he should sleep through the snoring after that.

They stayed in the wagon most of the next day, letting their horses be led along by it. Given how recently they'd been along this very path, not even bandits had had time to come back.

Both men were surprised by her offer to treat them to tavern rooms this time.  They didn't need justifications, but she pointed out they were only there for a few nights and only had one thing to do, so they could splash out a little this time.  In truth she just really, _really_ needed to sleep in a bed, but it also made her potential meeting with The Iron Bull a little easier.

She went to bed early, spent a considerable amount of time ensuring she was the only thing in her bed, grateful to Solas for his mattress cleaning potions, less grateful to Varric for reminding her that the bed bugs in Kirkwall taverns were big enough that you'd know if they were there just by looking.

Her dreams were filled of a bed shaped Thedas that she had to scuttle back and forth across at the whims of the three largest bed bugs she'd ever seen.

~~~

The next morning it was almost like they were back in Haven but better.  Since they only had one job to do, they were all nice and relaxed.  But on top of that, while they were all well known here, given they'd only just been here a few days ago, it wasn't the same as it was in Haven.

In Haven it was always 'Herald, can you do this for me?' or 'Herald, you're wanted at the War Table' or...so many other annoying demands.  Constantly.

Here, even when the people had genuine need of help, they'd never demanded.  They had almost always been surprised by offers of aid.  And now it was always 'Herald, I just made this pie, would you like a slice?' or 'Herald, would you like a cup of (whatever drink they happened to be selling or making)?'  It was all...rather marvellous. 

The tavern owner had not only ensured all their clothing had been cleaned and dried the night before but had all the small nicks and scuffs repaired as well.  Britania was 90% certain they'd managed to resole her boots and had done...something to the leather to make it just feel all nice and cosy around her feet.

Maker, she even felt comfortable tipping out the contents of her pack on her bed (having not given herself the chance to look through it in Haven) and have the woman take away all the things that needed cleaning in one scoop, and then the woman surprised her more by putting them in the pack itself saying it needed a cleaning too.

It was late morning before they made their way towards the lake and it all felt a little more serial.

She could remember clearly when they'd first arrived here the first time.  The roads had been deserted and almost everywhere you looked in the distance there were Mages and Templars fighting.  Now it was almost the complete opposite.  There were merchants along the road on and off, locals going about their daily lives, visiting each other and just being normal.  Even the bandits seemed to know to keep well out of sight of the three of them.

"Does anyone else feel---"

"If you say it's a little too quiet, a rift---"

"Don't even joke about rifts opening, Chuckles!"

They looked at each other then and gave small laughs.

"So, we're all feeling it then?" Britania asked again.

"Yeah...I think this is one of those things we try to enjoy and then never speak of again, in hopes the universe will then endeavour to make it happen again just to make us talk about it," Varric declared.

Solas sighed.  "That is the worst logic conceivable, Varric."

"Just flow with the serene mojo," Varric replied.

~~~

Warden Blackwall had been a little surprised by their return, but not upset by it.  "It seems these parts are in less need of protecting since your last visit," he said, as though voicing the group's earlier sentiments of the eerily peaceful atmosphere the area seemed to have at the moment.

Britania was immensely grateful he didn't think harshly of her for going back on her earlier words.  If anything, he seemed surprised she had been against coming back to find him when she discovered who he was.

"I'll pack my things and we can meet for drinks at the tavern later.  I'm sure you'll be wanting to be heading back to Haven shortly," Blackwall said.

Britania snorted.  "Not particularly."  At the look she received from her other companions she gave them a questioning look.  "What?  You're in a rush to get back to work?"

Varric eyed Solas, "She kinda has a point there," he told the elf, already onboard with her plan.

Solas sighed.  "Who am I to stand in the way of a well-earned rest?" he asked, before giving them a true smile.

But rather than going straight back to the tavern, Britania wanted to return to Dennet.  She wanted to have a ride on her horse once more before they left the Hinterlands again.  Not that they were in a rush to leave.  She hadn't heard from Cremisius, so in theory the Bull's Chargers may still be on their way.  She wasn't sure how she'd convince her companions to stay a full week, but the first few days shouldn't be too difficult.

She was amused though just a smidge irritated when Bron came to meet them at the gate of the farm.  The man was as subtle as a log as he tugged on her hair as he had when she'd seen him last time.  "Sorry, still not used to it not being in braids," he quipped, earning a glare.

Thankfully neither Solas nor Varric felt the need to question her further on how she knew him after she had simply offered, "I knew him before I was a mage."  It seemed both somehow understood that it was a part of her life not open for discussion, even if Bron seemed to forget.

Having accompanied her to the farm to ensure she made it safely, the pair left to return to the tavern, leaving her to spend her afternoon horse riding and gossiping with Seanna.

Bron and Seanna joined her when she went back to the tavern later that evening.  They joined the others for dinner followed by drinks and Wicked Grace and as she curled in her bed that evening to the sounds of the others still drinking and chatting, she felt quite content.  She could almost forgive her Advisors this assignment for the reprieve this day had given her.

~~~

The following morning Britania was delighted to be reminded the tavern boasted a bath.  She gleefully scrubbed herself down until the water was cool, and then ordered a second bath be drawn that she could just soak and relax in.  Her hair was wet still, but she couldn't be bothered drying it just yet, so instead left it down, feeling it brushing along her collar, making the material there wet.

She wasn't surprised to find Solas and Varric both already up and eating breakfast by the time she'd finished, though the latter looked a lot worse for wear.  Solas had eaten breakfast but sat at the table reading a book as Varric started his.  She got a plate and joined them.

Varric looked at her for a bit.  "Your hairs grown a lot these last few years, Sparrow," he observed.

Britania immediately regretted having left it down, and found herself pulling it back, creating a puddle of water behind her as she squeezed it into a small ponytail.

"It looks better...I shouldn't say that should I?  I mean the cropped cut was all well and good---"

"I find the best course when you say the wrong thing is to stop speaking and consider your words more carefully," Solas said, not looking up from his book, though his smile was bemused.

"Mornings are hard," was all Varric said by way of explanation.

"So, what was her hair like years ago?" Solas asked, putting his book down to engage more fully in the conversation.  "Clearly not the long braids Bron remembers," he added with a wicked grin.

"Short," she supplied unhelpfully, causing Varric to laugh.

"That's putting it lightly.  Even Krem's was longer," he teased.

She frowned at him.  "Who's Krem?" she asked.

"Oh, that's right, you passed out early last night," he quipped.

"I neither passed out nor was it early.  I simply retired at a slightly respectable hour," she retorted, poking her tongue at him for good measure.  "New friends then?" she asked, working out the connection.

"More like old acquaintances," Varric clarified.  "He's a merc, part of a group calling themselves the Bull's Chargers.  I know them by reputation mostly.  They'd make a decent ally if we could afford them," Varric added. His attention was momentarily taken by a new arrival into the room.  "Speak of the devil, Krem!" he called out, "Come meet Sparrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it wasn't too bad. I just liked the idea of them all feeling super relaxed and adored in the Hinterlands given they spent over two months making it a nice place (also feel like it's one of the few places in game where the trouble doesn't just keep coming back if you kill it all (specifically the mages and Templars. Those Carta bastards just keep coming back, Darkspawn be damned :P )). 
> 
> Up next, intro for one of my fave characters...hoping I do him justice...


	6. Terms of an Agreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one took so long. It's killed me to write it...thankfully not literally, but still...thankfully the next part has been ready for a considerably longer amount of time than this one, so you get a double date as an apology gift?

Britania looked over her shoulder and caught sight of a familiar face.  She was surprised to see him here so soon, but quickly schooled her face into one of neutrality.

“Krem, I take it?” she asked when he made his way over to their table.

“Cremisius Aclassi, but everyone calls me Krem,” he introduced himself, extending his hand.

She took his hand with a smile.  “Nice to meet you Cremisius.”  She looked back at Solas.  “I think Varric was exaggerating.  My hair wasn't quite as short, or as stylish, as his,” she told the elf before turning back again. “Will you join us for breakfast?  Varric was just telling me you’re part of small mercenary group that’s just starting out, needing some work to make a name for yourselves.”

She’d timed her words well, Varric choked on the mouthful of ale he’d just sipped.

Krem raised a brow at her, though he sat down.  “I’d hardly call us just starting out.  We’re known across most of Thedas, though best known around Orlais and Nevarra.”

It took her a moment to realize that was all he was going to say.  “That’s it?  I thought you’d have more to say about yourselves.”

He grinned.  “I imagine I've bored enough people with prattling on about us too much."

"Nonsense," Varric rejoined the conversation.  "Your stories were great last night."

"We've had a bit of downtime recently," Britania added, "It'd be nice to hear more about the...what did you say you were called again?"

"The Bull's Chargers.  Our Commander, The Iron Bull thinks he has a sense of humour," Krem added.

"I don't think, I know," Bull declared, somehow having managed to come upon them without them noticing, no small feat given his size.

"Bloody hell," Britania murmured, embarrassed when she realized she'd said it aloud.

Bull gave her a massive grin.  "Never met a Qunari before?" he drawled.

That got her over her embarrassment pretty quick.  "I lived in Kirkwall," she deadpanned, before grinning.  "I'm Britania," she introduced herself, holding out her hand, feeling it dwarfed within his.  "And no, I was just gonna say you have an impressive rack," waiting a beat before adding, "Not bad horns either."

His look of pride quickly soured.  "That hurts, Britania.  It's hurtful," he replied, then shrugged and laughed.  "Good to meet you.  So Varric tells me you may be interested in hiring some mercs?"

"Did he now?" she asked, turning an eye on the dwarf.

He held up his hands, "I just said we might be interested.  Whether we do or not isn't my call."

Britania raised her brow but said no more on it.  It was good that they thought Varric was the one that had instigated this.  Instead, she turned back to Bull.  "If you're half as good as these two have been implying, you won't come cheap, The Iron Bull."

"Gold tends to work itself out, your ambassador can handle that.  Krem believes you're fighting a worthy cause, which is good enough reason as any for me."

She eyed him at that.  "But any reason and the right amount of gold would do?"

"Before we sign, yeah," he told her honestly.  "But once we sign a contract, that's it.  We don't break our contracts without a damn good reason, and gold?  It's not a good enough reason," he added.

He seemed to understand what she was asking.  She’d been fairly blunt about the fact she wanted their loyalty with her, not the Inquisition.  If that loyalty could be bought, it wasn’t worth the hassle of paying for it in the first place.

“And you realize this isn’t likely to be your usual job?"

"Would I prefer not to be going up against demons?  Sure.  But I doubt Krem's gonna shut up about it, so we might as well have some good fights for a good cause and avoid demons where we can," he replied.

The three companions glanced at each other, trying not to give away how many demons they fought on a daily basis.

"It's a good cause," Solas finally offered.

"A really good cause," Britania agreed.

"Saving the world, what better cause is that?" Varric added.

~~~

They'd spent the morning sharing war stories, the Inquisition group focusing mostly on bandits, mages and Templars, or the occasional story of the Champion in Varric's case.

Lunch had been and gone when Bull and Krem found Britania outside tending to her horse.

"She's a fine mare," Krem observed by way of greeting.

Britania smiled at that.  "She should be.  She was bred specially by Master Dennet."

Krem gave a low whistle at that.  Clearly, he had heard of Dennet.  "What's her name?"

"Maysa.  I think it was supposed to be a more meaningful name, but it mostly comes across as cheesy," she added.  "Walk with a proud gait," she supplied before either asked. 

"Whoever named her was feeling sentimental towards the rider," Bull suggested.

Britania nodded.  "I don't doubt it.  So, I assume you've come to talk terms?" she asked as she finished checking over Maysa.

"We're here, so you know what we're offering," Bull began.

"Not really," she replied, holding up her hand to stall their rebuttal.  "I know where your loyalties will lie, and I know you're exceptional fighters.  But that begs the question why do you want to fight for me and not just serve the Inquisition?"

Bull shrugged.  "Your moral compass has stayed true," he replied simply.

She actually laughed at that.  "I'm not entirely sure how you came to that conclusion---"

"Right, something I should have already mentioned," Bull cut her off.  "I'm Ben-Hassrath.  That's---"

"I've heard of them...do all Qun spies just openly admit to being spies as part of their introductions?" she asked.

He shrugged.  "Depends on the agent.  Is that going to be a problem for you?"

"Not unless you plan on causing as much trouble as Tallis.  So why is a Ben-Hassrath aware of my moral compass?"

"The Qun wanted me close to the Inquisition, so I did some digging.  Far as I can tell, you've had two chances to just cut your losses and run.  Both times you chose to do some good instead."

She frowned at him, not sure what he was talking about.

He sighed, as though it should be obvious.  "When you escaped Greenfell, you could have gone it alone, but you chose to help those who wanted to get out.  Some of them chose the Qun," he added by way of explaining how he knew this.  "Then in Kirkwall, you could have disappeared with Anders and the rest of his followers, but you stayed behind."

Britania's jaw was clenched as she spoke.  "Don't mention Greenfell again.  As for Kirkwall, I should have known Anders was up to something and stopped him."

"So, staying there for two years was what?  Penance?"

"You could say that."  He gave her a grin like he was the cat that got the cream.  "What?" she asked, annoyed by the look.

"Moral compass," he winked, or maybe he just blinked with good timing.  "The rest of the Inquisition leaders are...dubious at best, well other than the Ambassador.  Though that doesn't mean I'd happily kill them all if that's why you're hiring us," he added.

"Subtle, chief," Krem groaned.

She chuckled.  "No, I have no intention to kill any of them while that Breach is open and Thedas' fate is up in the air," she told him honestly.

Bull raised a brow.  "But once that's all taken care of?"

She shrugged.  "I've no interest in killing the Ambassador, if that makes you feel better."

"A little," Krem admitted, though Bull didn't comment on it.

Instead he thought it over before giving a non-committal shrug.  "Then I think we're settled.  So, when do we start, Boss?"

"Hang on, I haven't said I agree yet," Britania told him.

This didn't go down well with Bull.  "You wait till I agree before adding more terms?" he asked, his tone having lost a little of its warmth.

"Not at all.  But I have been thinking about your offer for me to see your work before we start," she told him.

He let out a low growl.  "We've already taken out the Venatori---"

"And I've already said I have no interest in seeing you fight," she cut him off.  "If all I wanted was fighters, I could just ask Cullen to assign me some.  I need to see how you work to determine if you're what I need."

"What exactly is it you need?" he asked.

She paused, tapping her finger to her lips for a moment.  "I have no desire to leave without Maysa again.  But for Dennet to be willing to send us off with his horses, we need to build three watchtowers."

"And you want us to build them?" Krem asked, earning a grin from Britania.

"We're fighters, not builders," Bull growled.

"So are the men Cullen will be sending shortly, and yet _they_ have no issue with taking _their_ Commander's orders to build the watchtowers," she replied, raising a brow defiantly.

"How long do we have?" Bull asked begrudgingly.

"As long as you need...but it probably wouldn't be as useful if Cullen's men get here and have to finish the job off for you," she replied brightly.

~~~

To be honest, Britania knew almost nothing about how watchtowers were built.  In fact, she knew literally nothing.  The only knowledge she had of the things were what they looked like, and more recent experiences of them being useful places to find good loot.  So, when she had given Bull the job, she honestly hadn't had any idea how much time he would need to complete the task.

When only a week later he was telling her they were ready for her inspection, she couldn't be sure it was a short amount of time, but it _sounded_ like a short amount of time.  It seemed she was right if the look on Bron's face was any indication.

Her small group set off with Bron, Krem and Bull to inspect the completed work, leaving the rest of the Chargers at the tavern.  She'd like to say it was a celebratory type event for them, but it looked more like what they did every night they'd been there so far.

It was a relatively short ride and it wasn't long before they rounded a bend and the first tower came into view.  Britania never thought she'd ever think of a watchtower as pretty, but this indeed was a thing of beauty.  The lower two-thirds were made of stone bricks, while the upper third was wooden.  Bron told her they did look like they'd been built well and designed to last.

But that's not what made it beautiful.  What made it beautiful was the vines interlaced through the brick grouting.  They were kept well enough away from the woodwork that even if they managed to catch a light, they couldn't do damage to the tower itself, and were only thin runner vines, so anyone that could climb a tower with their aid would need to be adept enough that they could surely do it without their help just as easily.  The green meant the watchtower was slightly more camouflaged from a distance - a very practical reason for the vines.  If it weren't for the small red flowers growing from them it could have been thought that was the only reason.

But the flowers made it beautiful, and unique as far as Britania was concerned.

Bull didn't want her judgement until she'd seen all three, so she kept silent as they rode to the next watchtower in the North.

It was almost identical to the Western watchtower.  The only discernible difference was that the flowers on these vines were blue.  The Eastern tower was again the same, only with green flowers.

She looked to the others for their comments first.

"They look as well built as any other watchtower we've come across," Solas said, his own admission of being as clueless in this as Britania.

"I'm with Chuckles," Varric shrugged.

"Honestly, they're better than I'd hoped we'd get, and finished a damn sight sooner," Bron told her, getting a proud grin from Bull.

She nodded.  "I agree, it's fine work.  I especially like the flowers."

Bull shrugged.  "Makes it easier to identify them.  Navigating by 'the red watchtower' is easier than trying to work out which of the three someone means...and everyone remembers 'no red port left'," he told her.

The extreme annoyance Leliana's lack of information around waterfalls had brought was still fresh in her mind as Britania suddenly felt elated at his reasoning.  "Bull, I love you.  Marry me?" she gushed without thinking, earning a laugh from those around her.

"It was my idea," Krem said from the side.

Britania turned to him, "Duly noted," looked at Bull, "Consider my proposal retracted," and back to Krem, "Marry me, Krem?" she joked.

The man blushed at her words, dipping his head to hide the fact. 

~~~

They had looked over the new lumber mills and quarry before heading back to the tavern to celebrate a job well done.  The next morning they set off for Haven with Dennet and a number of horses in tow.

Britania seemed exceptionally happy to be able to finally be taking Maysa as her own.  After a few hours of this the others just left her to her excitement, commenting whenever she returned to the group.

"The watchtowers weren't so much about seeing us work as getting your horse then?" Bull asked at one point.

"It was about seeing you work, but getting my horse was an excellent side benefit," she replied.  "And I was interested to see how you use the locals," she added.

"The Chargers might be good, but even we can't build three watchtowers on our own in a week," he replied, misunderstanding her comment as criticism.

"No, it's what I was hoping for.  I don't want people to become unnecessarily dependant on the Inquisition.  You've set these people up creating their own resources and possibly new sources of income to see them through their losses.  That's a good thing.  I need the people working with me to make sure we're helping people become self-reliant not dependent on us."

"We'll take on bandits and demons for them, but they're on their own if their cat found its way up a tree," Varric supplied.

"Unless it's a prized druffalo, then we'll spend hours guiding it home," Solas said with just a hint of resentment.

Dennet pulled his horse a bit closer as he joined the conversation.  "I believe one prized druffalo is more than worth being supplied with the best mounts in Thedas."


	7. Commanding Introductions

Cullen was exhausted.  It had started off as any other day, drilling the troops much like he had back when he was a Templar.  And didn't that thought grate just a little this evening.

They were only halfway through morning training when the unmistakable sound of horses could be heard.  A lot of horses.  Turning, he could see the soldiers he’d sent out not two days ago followed by a Qunari on a massive steed and his own men.  Cullen’s heart was pounding as he tried to not think of Kirkwall, but also needed to assess the situation and quickly.

He didn’t think the Qunari group were attacking.  If they were, surely they would have already dispensed with his own men before coming here.  But then what---

His thought was cut by the sound of a woman laughing.  Loud and melodious.

Cullen scanned the group for its source, only to find Britania, on a horse beside the Qunari leader.  She looked so happy as she laughed at whatever the other had said.  Even from here he could see her wiping her eyes once it had subsided.

And then she looked up and caught his gaze.  He smiled, but as he watched her smile slip away, he was reminded again of how much she disliked him.

The Qunari said something, and she glanced over at him, but didn’t seem interested in what he was saying, her gaze going back to Cullen once more before she turned to watch the path ahead.

The Qunari followed her gaze and gave Cullen an assessing look.  He gave a broad smile before bellowing, “Chargers, make pretty.”

_‘Make pretty?’_ , Cullen thought.  What sort of command was that?  He found out soon enough as the rag tag group suddenly started pulling their horses into line.  Within moments they had gone from just a group of riders to horses filed in rows and lines and…were they actually doing a military trot?

Clearly his own distraction had been too long as by now all the soldiers had stopped training to stare at the new group coming in.  His own returning men went straight to the stables, the new lot paused as Britania and the Qunari dismounted, passing their reigns to the man beside the Qunari.

“Krem,” the Qunari began, only for the other man to nod.

“Make camp, check our supplies, get everyone fed and watered.  Anything else?” the man asked.

The Qunari smiled.  “Nah, that’ll do.”

He followed Britania towards Cullen, though Cullen noted he stayed just a step behind her, causing him to frown just a little.  Had she hired a mercenary bodyguard?

“Commander Rutherford, sorry to disturb your training.  Would you be able to take a moment so I might give all the advisors introductions together?” she asked.  She seemed so much calmer than she had been when she had set out little over a week ago.

Cullen nodded.  “Welcome back, Herald.  I’d be happy to,” he said, as he indicated to Rylen to oversee the training in his place.

As they walked up towards Leliana’s tent, Cullen couldn’t help thinking how short he suddenly felt.  He’d always been tall, still was taller than most of his men.  But compared to this Qunari?  The difference in their heights was almost double that between him and Britania.  He found himself pulling himself straighter, fighting to get just that little taller to compensate.

They were in luck when they reached Leliana’s tent as Josie was there having a quiet word.  Cullen noted the way both women gave the Qunari an appraising look and suddenly he was wondering why the other man couldn’t at least be wearing a shirt.  Walking around half naked just wasn’t appropriate, least of all in an armed force.

Britania made quick work of introducing the four to each other and letting them know she’d hired him and his mercenary band.  She was already looking at Cullen as he made his protest against hiring mercenaries, and he got the distinct impression she had been waiting for it.

But it was Leliana that responded to the protest.  “They’re not just any mercenary band, Commander.  They’re known across Thedas.”

The Iron Bull shrugged off the compliment, though his grin was a proud one, “We get around.”

“Be that as it may, our allies or potential allies may not take too kindly to our hiring mercenaries rather than trained soldiers,” Josie piped in.

Again, it was as though Britania had already anticipated this.  “Fine, the Inquisition won’t hire them.  I will.  I’ll pay them out of my own salary…and I’ll also probably stop just giving spoils I find to the Inquisition free of charge,” she added at a look Iron Bull gave her that suggested her salary wouldn’t cover their cost.

“You must think highly of the spoils you find,” Iron Bull added, still not committing that it would be enough.

Britania shrugged.  “Every piece of armour I’m wearing and my stave are spoils I found,” she replied.

He looked her over quickly.  “Hmm, might work then.”

“Oh,” Britania added, “And any resources, mines or anything of the like I find and get operational, they’ll be mine too.”

“You’ve made your point,” Leliana said a little icily.  “It looks like the Inquisition will indeed by hiring mercenaries…or at least this _singular_ band,” she added, giving Britania a pointed look.  This would not happen again.

Britania nodded and then beamed at the group.  “Fantastic.  Then I have great news for you all.  We now have two operational lumber mills as well as a,” she paused, looking at Bull with a frown.

“What makes you think I have any idea what it’s called?” he replied with a smirk.

She gave a small hmph before turning back to the others, “A…place they make things with wood.”

“Very articulate,” Bull chortled.

She glared at him, poking her tongue out for barely a second, before adding, “As well as a mine and…stone makers.”  She eyed Bull, daring him to comment, but he only shrugged.  “They’ve all been set up to hopefully be self-sustaining.  The money made from selling the wood should pay the salaries of the staff, and any profits used for improvements so they can hire more staff, grow more trees and so on.  Same with the…wood place etc.  Start making small easy to make and sell items, and then build up to more flamboyant items if they can find a market for it.”

“Nicely done,” Cullen found himself saying.  Coming from such a small town, he knew firsthand how much even one additional business could help, in the same way he knew a foreign owner constantly demanding bigger profits could wreck it.

“Right, well…now that’s all sorted…do I have time to unpack before I need to head out again?” she asked, a hint of true pleading in her voice.

It was Josie who smiled and told her to go take a well earnt rest, and Leliana who suggested Bull work with Cullen to ensure the mercenaries would work well under his command.  Neither man looked particularly pleased about this arrangement.

~~~

Which is how it came to be that the Chargers stood off to the side watching Cullen’s men train.  They’d been doing so for half an hour when Cullen finally turned to the bigger man.  “Are you planning on having your men join in the training, or just staring at us all day?” he asked none too kindly, though not quite sharp.

Bull just grinned at him, showing open palms as he shrugged.  “We don’t want to embarrass you or your men,” Bull said softly.

“Embarrass…” Cullen didn’t even have the words to throw his anger back at Bull.

But Bull just chuckled.  “Send your men for lunch and I’ll have mine give you a demonstration.”

Cullen wanted to refuse, but he was so angry now that he thought it would be better to do as the Qunari said rather than let his men see him fly off the handle.

Once his men were away, Bull looked over at his own men.  “Chargers, Templar training.  Green recruit and up.”

“Aww Chief, Green Recruit is just embarrassing,” Krem complained as the group moved into formation.

“What’s embarrassing is me having to repeat an order,” Bull replied sternly, though he was grinning.  “Sing if it’ll make it less difficult for you.”

The band laughed a bit at that and then began their training.  ‘Green recruit’ was clearly the way they described Templars that started training with no military background as it was essentially just showing the different ways to hold a shield, a sword and shield, a sword two handed.  And then they turned as one to pair off.  They began on simple attacks and defense, and much to Cullen’s surprise, actually did start to sing then.

_No one can beat the Chargers 'cause we'll hit you where it hurts._

“The way I see it Commander, is you have a good crew here, but you’re running it badly.  You have at least five guys I could see that should have already been promoted.  Another three that should have been promoted twice.  That’s both a waste of talent as well as keeps the standard low,” Bull told him quietly before bellowing, “Knights in Training.”  The band’s movements became sharper, their moves both more complex but also that little bit faster.

_Unless you know a tavern with loose cards and looser skirts!_  
  


“You seem like a solid leader, but you don’t want to let go of anything, which means you’re going to drop everything at some point.  Your job isn’t to do every job, it’s to find the best person to do the job and let them do it.

These are your forces.  You can either try to do everything and have them be only as strong as your greatest weakness or do it right and have them be only as weak as your greatest strength.”

“That…what?” Cullen asked, that last sentence becoming a jumble in his mind.

“Knight-Templars!” Bull yelled.

_For every bloody battlefield, we'll gladly raise a cup._

_When Bull turned back, his face was serious but sincere.  “Everyone has something they’re bad at.  If you’re doing everything, whatever that thing is for you, that’s the weakest point of your forces.  Say you’re bad at paperwork.  The whole force will only be as fast as you are at fulfilling the last requisition.”_

Cullen could feel his cheeks reddening as he thought of the massive pile of paperwork on his desk.

Bull just grinned.  “It was an easy peg.  Noone likes paperwork, so it’s where most forces breakdown.  Grim is good with them.  If you’re willing to accept our help, I’m happy for him to sort it out for you, but you’ll need to find some of your own men that are good at it for future,” Bull told him.

“Also, make sure everyone is always learning from the next place above them.  You want the entire force to waterfall down so everyone can move up as they’re ready or needed.  The better you have that, the more able your forces are to grow and improve.”

“Knight-Captains!”

_No matter what tomorrow holds, our horns be pointing up!_ ” 

“How do you know all this?” Cullen asked.

“If you mean how to Command, you’re only as good as your worst Commander.  The Qun makes sure we weed out the bad ones pretty quick.  I heard about Kirkwall, I figure your worst was…shitty.

If you mean your Templar training, it was the quickest way to know best practices against two threats – if we go up against Mages, Templars have the most experience and their training will help us get through.  If we’re up against Templars, we know all their moves and counters, so we know how to get by them.”

Bull turned back to his boys.  “At ease.”

The Chargers stood at ease, faces red and shimmering with sweat, but still grinning.

“Go get some grub, make nice with the locals,” Bull ordered before turning back to Cullen.  “We’re on the same side now, I’ll help where I can.  Grim can help you with paperwork, Krem will work out the men who can take on drill training for you.  That’ll free us up to work with…Rylen right?”  Bull didn’t even pause for Cullen to confirm his second-in-command.  “We can arrange promotions and new roles for those with skills not being used.  Get this force well-oiled so that when your next lot of new troops arrive, you’re ready for them.”

And so that’s how his afternoon played out.  Krem kept the soldiers training, Grim sorted out Cullen’s desk, and Cullen, Bull and Rylen sat down to work out a plan for the forces.  A real plan, not just one that would work for the next week or two, but one that would stay in place for the duration of their fight.

If nothing else, Cullen truly appreciated the aid Bull gave him.  He’d been doing this alone for months now, and while he didn’t find the job of leadership difficult, there were so many areas he didn’t have experience in, that he’d never needed to know in the past.  He’d taken on the burden of every job by no means because he thought he was best able nor because he was loathe to delegate it.  In truth he just hadn’t known how to set up a system that would work for delegation, or the free time to try work it out on his own.

Not only that, but he and Rylen could go over the different soldiers' skills and weaknesses.  There were many of them, but not so many that the pair didn’t know each personally.  This made the job easy now where it would be impossible later.

During the mid-afternoon break, they had brought the soldiers together to explain the new system, assign new roles and to give promotions as necessary.  Bull had ensured he and the Chargers were well out of sight during this, not wanting the men to connect the actions to the Chargers in any way, for which Cullen was grateful.

They divided the soldiers into their new roles, some going off with Grim, some with Krem, and some with Rylen.  The rest continued to train under another one of the Chargers.  Bull and Cullen went around each group for a time, explaining their roles, who reported to whom and what was expected of them.

Bull then took Cullen away for some sparring practice of their own, telling him it was just as important to let his orders be carried out without his supervision as it was to keep up his own training and get away for a little while.

After a hard few hours sparring, they went back to see how the different teams were doing. They found Krem had divided the training soldiers into smaller groups which were now being trained by their drill sergeants, just basic drills, but giving them their first taste of taking charge.

They checked in with Rylen and Grim as well, both groups doing well on learning the ins and outs of paperwork as well as the new expectations their promotions entailed.

After a break for dinner, they had a meeting with all those in new positions followed by a meeting between Krem, Rylen and Grim to see what they thought of the progress and what would need doing.

Cullen was both glad it was flowing so well, but also felt a twinge of guilt that he hadn't done this himself sooner.  Seeming to read his mind, Bull was humble in the part he'd played.

"You've just been too busy to see the forest from the trees," Bull counselled him once the others had left, most planning an early night sleep.  "That it's going this smoothly just shows how well your command was going...it just needed some fine tuning."

Cullen appreciated the compliment even if he knew Bull's part was bigger than he would admit.

"Your focus now should only be on jobs that only you can do, or training others up. It should be the same for everyone. Your Herald, for example, shouldn't be used for sent back and forth across Thedas." He didn't dwell on the point, and didn't have to. Even the advisors knew they'd made a mistake last time. 

Now it was well past dark and all Cullen wanted to do was go back to his own tent, to collapse and - Maker willing - sleep a glorious dreamless sleep for just a few hours before he was next called upon.  The only thing standing between him and that blissful dream was the requisition in his hand that he needed to get to the Quartermaster, not because it was urgent but because it would be the last he should have to deal with personally.  And the only thing between him and her was getting around the small encampment set up for the new mage refugees that had arrived with Britania and her team.

He didn't think the last was going to be an issue until he noticed Britania herself sitting at the small campfire with a few of them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much nicer to write than the last couple...probably mostly cos it finally has some Cullen/Inq conversation!!

He didn't think the last was going to be an issue until he noticed Britania herself sitting at the small campfire with a few of them.

That's fine, he told himself.  I'll just walk by with a quick nod and hopefully that'll be a short enough interaction to avoid somehow annoying her.

And that's exactly what he did, looking over at the group, giving a smile and a quick nod as he walked by.  It would have all worked out just as he'd planned it if he hadn't happened to overhear one of the mages whisper.

"I heard he was such a wreck after Kinloch that he killed three mages before fleeing."

Of course, he'd heard this rumour himself.  The fact there was no basis to it didn't mean his blood didn't run cold each and every time he heard it though, and he found himself unable to move forward for a moment.

"They caught up with him and dragged him to Kirkwall which, all things considered---"

"That's a lie."

Cullen's head snapped around.  It had been his thought, but not his voice.  Britania had spoken.  Britania who hated him, barely tolerated being in his presence was...defending him?

The other mages had turned to face her too, giving her their undivided attention.

"The Commander didn't murder any Mage at Kinloch," she clarified.  "Whatever may have happened after that, well, we all know how bad Kinloch was," she paused and they all bowed their heads, sad looks of acknowledgement.  "No one came out of that in one piece.  Even some of the apprentices that survived requested Tranquillity over their Harrowing."

A collective shudder ran over the group.  Cullen hadn't known that.  Hadn't thought to ask how it had affected them.  Probably wouldn't have asked even if it had.

They sat in silence for a while, none noticing Cullen watching them from the shadows.

Finally, one of the younger woman asked, "What was he like...before?"

Now Cullen watched Britania intently.  He was fairly certain it wasn't from Kinloch that they knew each other, but not so certain that he wasn't interested in this answer.

She thought for a moment, as though from a memory so very long ago.  Cullen supposed it was.  It was already ten years since the Blight.

"I am told he was the kindest, sweetest Templar you ever could meet.  That he would hand out candy to any child who gave him a pleading eye," she told them softly.

"That sounds wonderful," the young mage gushed, and Cullen could feel his cheeks burning.

He remembered those early days, not exactly as himself, but as though watching someone else.  Someone who was happy and caring despite taking his duty very seriously.  Someone who hadn't minded being teased by the other Templars for constantly buying candy, or their jokes that he was a mother duck, always with a gaggle of mage ducklings in his wake.

Now he couldn't even remember the last time he'd bought candy for himself let alone to share with a child at random.

"Is that when you met him?" another mage asked.

Britania brushed her hair out of her face.  "When I met him isn't important.  My point is we're not in the Circles now.  The Inquisition is made up of both Templars and Mages, and some that are neither.  But Templars are no longer our jailers.  We need to be strong and not give in to our fear, and certainly not spread false rumours that encourage fear.  We're above that, and we're going to make a new world better than that too," she finished, patting her hands on her thighs before standing.

"Herald, might I have a word?" Cullen found himself speaking before he could stop himself, not wanting to let her get away, not wanting to give her the excuse of running from him.

All five mages looked up at him in shock, not having noticed him.  He gave them the same smile as earlier, just as forced as before, holding up the requisition he was still carrying by way of explanation.

Britania gave a small nod to him before turning to the others.  "The Inquisition never sleeps, but you all should.  Sleep well," she said softly and walked in his direction, falling in step beside him as they walked towards the Quartermaster's table, or he supposed for her, towards her cabin.

"If that piece of parchment is something requiring me to go back to the Hinterlands tomorrow, I may have to choke you to death with it," she said softly as they moved out of the encampment area.

Cullen gave a small chuckle, nodding to the Templar at the encampment's edge before saying, "No... it has nothing to do with this.  Actually, I happened to overhear..."

They had reached the gate now, and she had stopped in the archway to turn and face him, arching a brow that caused him to fall into silence.

She waited for him to continue, but when nothing came, she spoke.  "You happened to overhear us discussing you and thought you better what?  Let me know it's not a topic to be discussed by mages?"

"What?  No!  I..."  He took a deep breath.  "I'm just a little...confused by what you said?" he said uncertainly.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific," she replied, crossing her arms, already becoming defensive.

He rubbed the back of his neck.  "Defending me...against the rumour..."

"Was I mistaken?  Is it true?" she asked.

"Maker no, I just...you hate me."  He paused, and his heart sunk as he realized he'd said it with a small hope she might contradict him.  When she said nothing, he continued.  "Why would you defend me when you hate me?"

Britania sighed.  "Commander, my reasons for hating you are personal.  I'm not about to encourage my people to spread lies about you just so they're scared of you and maybe start to hate you without real cause.  It's not good for them or for what we're trying to achieve."

Her saying she hated him only stabbed at him a little deeper than her not contradicting it a moment earlier had.  But he appreciated that she wasn't letting her personal feelings affect their efforts.  And yet, "Will you tell me why you hate me?"

"As I told you before, I'm not here to help you feel better.  I have a job to do," she replied.

He sighed.  "Well, if there's anything I can do to help with that, let me know."

"There is, now that you mention it.  Tell your Templars to back off," she replied.

Cullen could feel his muscles go tight, wanted to make a comment about there being a civil war between Mages and Templars across Thedas and that he would not allow one to begin here.  But then he held back.  She had made it abundantly clear tonight that she put her personal issues aside for the good of the Inquisition.  Maybe he could put aside some of those prejudices he told himself over and over he was letting go of to find out why she had asked this.

She had cocked her head at him, seemingly genuinely surprised, maybe even impressed, by him not immediately jumping to the Templars defence, so when he asked why, she was actually happy to explain in an almost cordial manner.  "We're not in a Circle here.  I get the need for security and protection but treating us like we're one step away from becoming abominations isn't helping anyone."

"What makes you feel we're doing that?" he asked, forcing himself to remain neutral.

"Seriously?" she asked shaking her head in disbelief.  "Go take another look at where the mages are camped.  That should be your first clue - they're cordoned into their own little section. 

Pretending that was their choice and they all just happened to want to be camped right beside each other and some distance away from all the other refugees, then walking through there shouldn't make you feel like it's a group of apostates that have just been captured by Templars on their way back to a Circle for judgement."

"I'll...look into it," he told her.  He wasn't sure what she expected, or whether he'd even see anything wrong with the way the situation was being handled, but he could at least double check it was all above board.  And he could have laughed at the look of genuine shock that covered her face at his response.

"Right...well...good.  Anyway, I am actually really exhausted, and I imagine you are too...so I'm going to go.  Good night, Commander," she said, giving a small wave as she turned towards her cabin.

"Good night, Herald," he replied with a smile.  It most definitely could not be described as a friendly encounter, but it was the least hostile encounter he remembered them having.  Any progress was good progress in his book.

He dropped off the requisition, not entirely surprised the Quartermaster was still working away at her desk given the paperwork Britania had given her earlier in the day, followed by what Grim and his team had given her this afternoon.

Turning back towards his tent, he looked at the encampment of the mages, noticing for the first time how the Templars faced inward, not outward.  Keeping danger in, not danger out.  He walked slowly back, trying to make his actions non-obvious as he walked through the tents.

Only two mages remained at the fire, and while he still smiled and nodded as before, his focus was not on them.  He wasn't using lyrium, hadn't for some time now, but he still had use of some of his abilities, and most definitely could sense the abilities used around him.

He felt the tingle of something and tried to place it after so long.  Not a Purge, that was faster and felt more like a quick flame across the skin.  Not a Silence, that would feel cold and empty.  This was more like...static.  It was with horror that he realized what it was, his eyes looking at each of the Templars on duty in turn, all focused in their intent that they did not notice his gaze.

Not wanting to draw too much attention, he went to Rylen, asked him to find replacements so that he could have a meeting with all the Templars in his command.  This could not wait until the morning, so those that had already turned in for the night were woken.

Cullen was...not quite angry, though he knew if it were any other group than mages he would likely be furious.  That left him with a feeling of shame, that as far as he had come from Kinloch, he hadn't come far enough.  But he would continue to change, to be better, and this, _this_ was an important step in that direction.

Maybe this is what had sparked the conversation between the mages at the fireside in the first place.  They most certainly couldn't be oblivious of it if Britania had taken it upon herself to draw his attention to it.  And that stung too.  For all he was trying to convince her she shouldn't hate him, he had let this happen without even noticing it.

It wouldn't happen again.

No mage under his care would be guarded as though they were in their Harrowing, least of all as they tried to sleep for the night.


	9. Burdens to Bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I should have noted in previous chapter - the Mages that have arrived aren't those from Redcliff (given they haven't gone there yet). In my mind they're small group from the Hinterlands travels that wanted to join Inquisition given all the help it gave the area in last few months.

The next morning Cullen felt better than he had in a long time.  His desk was already clear save for a couple of reports needing a written response from him, and as he had eaten his breakfast, he could already see the drill sergeants preparing what they'd need for training that morning.  It looked like they were planning a round robin style setup, with each setting up a different arrangement of equipment.

Getting to actually relax as he ate, as well as know the most time consuming of his morning duties were no longer his to worry about, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

Such was his good mood, that he actually asked one of the merchants if they had candy and, having been pointed to one that had some in stock, went and bought a couple of bags.  No sooner had he purchased them then he saw a small child practically drooling at the sight of so much candy in one place.  He couldn't help himself, he gave one to them, and the half dozen children that followed in their wake.  He was starting a bad habit and he knew it.  There were worse vices to bear than this though.

He ran into Josie who told him she was on her way to see Leliana to tell her they needed to meet.  His good mood was still soaring in him and he actually offered to go collect Britania, much to Josie's surprise, though she wasn't going to pass up a chance at some extra time to gossip with Leliana, so she agreed easily.

By contrast, Britania seemed to be having a very trying morning given her tight expression as she spoke to the mages around her.  "I don't know.  I'll try ask when I next see him," she was telling one as he approached.

"Herald," he said by way of greeting.  "Your presence is requested at the War Table," he told her.

She gave him a stiff nod before looking at the group around her, "I'll take my leave."

Following Cullen, she waited until they rounded a corner before demanding, "Why did you have to go do that?" thwacking his chest hard with the back of her hand.  This led to a string of expletives given his armour.

He waited until she seemed to be over the worst of the pain before asking, "Do what exactly?"

She glared at him as though it should be obvious.  "Come and collect me yourself.  Why couldn't you send a runner?  Now they'll be harping on about how you're so selfless you even call the Herald personally rather than troubling a poor page boy to do it for you," she added, scowling.

Cullen laughed.  "I'm sure they don't contemplate my actions that seriously," he replied.

Her glare just grew in severity.  "You have _no_ idea."

Just then a little girl from earlier raced up to Cullen, biting on her lower lip as she stared up at him.

Without thinking he pulled out a candy and passed it to her, ruffling her hair as he spoke, "Off with you then.  You'll spoil your next meal."

Looking back up at Britania, he found her glare replaced with a look of dumbstruck.  "What?" he asked.

"I...I can't believe you just did that!" she growled, before turning on her heel and storming toward the Chantry.

"It was only a piece of candy," he replied, picking up his own pace to keep up with her.

She spun around, jabbing her finger into his chest and wincing at the pain this caused her finger.  "No, it wasn't.  I told them that story last night to show them you were once human, that you weren't something to be feared.  Now you've gone and twisted it for your own gains!" she spun to go again, only to be spun back as he grabbed her by the arm, spinning her back to face him.

"I am _still_ human and not _someone_ to be feared, at least not by my allies or those under my protection.  What you told them last night just reminded me of the small pleasures I used to take before everything went wrong."

She looked like he'd just punched her in the gut, her face looking pale and horrified.  A moment later, she shook herself, having changed her mind on whatever she had thought.  "It only took you a decade to remember what it's like to be a decent person.  Good job, maybe only another ten before," she stopped herself as yet another child raced up to him.  She just glared at him over their head before storming off to the Chantry on her own.

He was only a short distance from her when she slammed the war room door open with such force that Josie gave a startled shriek; and was sitting with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face by the time he entered the room, closing the door gently behind him.

Let her be angry, he told himself.  She's ruined a perfectly good morning with spite, let her wallow in her own negativity for all he cared.

Josie cleared her throat gently to gain their attention.  "Britania, I wanted to ask how the mages are settling in."

Britania let out a groan.  "Ugh, don't get me started," she whined.

Leliana looked confused at this.  "My reports have been nothing but positive.  It seems they have been greatly charmed by the Commander and his efforts to look after them."

"Oh yes, _his_ efforts have been _tremendous_.  Oh, which reminds me _Commander_ , I have had a number of them ask me if you're single?  I said I wasn't sure, but if you're keen to keep twisting those small pleasures, we could start arranging some _dates_ for you."

The venomous tone she used on 'dates' made Cullen all too aware that that wasn't the word she was thinking as she said it.  What kind of man did she take him for?  And yet he still felt himself blushing at the thought of women actually asking such questions about him.

Josie let out a small giggle.  "It could be quite the interesting matchmaking," she teased him good naturedly.  It didn't feel so wrong when Josie teased him about it, knowing she held no malice behind the suggestion.

"With all seriousness," Leliana added, "Whatever your meeting with the Templars last night achieved, it was noticed and has been commented on positively at great length this morning."

He could feel Britania's gaze on him, could make out the look of shock out of his peripheral vision, but refused to look at her.  So, she hadn't known about that at least.  Maybe that would help her get off her high horse about the damned candy.  "Good to know it helped," was all he said.  "Anyway, I believe we had other matters to discuss this morning besides the mages reaction to me?"

"Ah yes.  We have had word about contacting both the Mages and Templars, should we be ready to decide who we'd like to approach.

Grand Enchanter Fiona approached Cassandra after the debacle in Val Royeaux.  She has asked that we meet her in Redcliffe.  Given what happened in Val Royeaux, Leliana and I have been working to find noble families that will stand with us to pressure the Templars into aiding us.  We need only to travel to Therinfal Redoubt for them to join us to force the Lord Seeker's hand."

"I suppose this means you will be returning to the Hinterlands shortly," Cullen said, trying to make light of it, though he was a little disappointed he would not be able to pursue this with his brothers and sisters in arms.  He forced himself to meet her gaze, but he couldn't read her expression.

Finally, she said, "I am in no rush to return to the ass end of nowhere.  Both sides need to be considered as we will likely only be able to make this choice once, and I'm sure both parties will hold if only for a little while.  Hopefully we're having enough impact out there that neither side wants to make an enemy of us voluntarily."

Cullen was genuinely shocked.  He had been so prepared for her to immediately take the Mages side that her willingness to even pause for a moment to consider their options was something of a relief.

"In the meantime," she continued, "Are there any other areas that need our assistance?"

They discussed the other reports they had received: their men that had seemed to go missing in the Fallow Mire, an invitation to meet the First Enchanter, and Bull's account of bandits and such on the Storm Coast.

Eventually they decided the best course of action would be for Britania to meet the First Enchanter first.  Josephine and Leliana thought she could be a powerful ally, while Cullen had some hesitations despite the woman being a supporter of Circles.  Once that was completed, she would be able to sail to the Storm Coast before heading south to the Fallow Mires. This would give the scouts ample time to check the area and whether men were in fact going missing or something else was afoot before she arrived.  It would be a long journey for her, though easier than her returning to Haven each time.

Given the journey ahead, Britania would have a few days rest before setting out and they would discuss the choice between Mages and Templars on her return, in case things changed between now and then.

The latter part of the meeting had seemed to calm both Britania and himself.  They could work together well enough if they weren't discussing the civil war or Mages doting on him.

As if reading his thoughts on getting along, she spoke up.  "I'm willing to bet five gold we can't get out of here without the Commander's influence."

"What does that even mean?" Cullen asked, frowning at her.

She grinned evilly at him.  "Take the bet and I'll explain."

He sighed but pulled out the coins, placing them on the table.  Leliana and Josie eyed each other before agreeing to the same bet between themselves for just one gold, Leliana with Cullen, Josie with Britania.

"I mean that without your intervention, we're stuck in here.  Open the door and you'll see."

He gave her one more weary look, worried that a trap had been laid, before opening the door.  It was a trap, but one of his own making.  The doorway was blocked by near every child in Haven, each staring up at him pleadingly.

"This isn't a Circle, Commander.  There are a lot more children to please in Haven, and they are better at passing information at speed than any group in Thedas," she told him, taking her winnings as did Josie.

Josie let out a giggle.  "It would appear your change in heart has not only the Mages rallying to your side, Commander."

"A burden I will happily bear," he replied, though his ears were red as he handed out candy to each child in turn.


	10. Comfort

Britania had been looking forward to the break. To being able to just laze about Haven for a few days before heading out on the road once more.

Unfortunately, between word spreading of his protection from the Templars as well as his generosity with candy, near every Mage wanted to discuss the Commander with her and it was driving her to near insanity.

Just two days into her break she became so incensed by a woman's queries that she found herself yelling, _actually yelling_ , "He's right there, go ask him your flaming self!"

She regretted it an instant later as not only Cullen, but Bull, Rylen and Krem turned to look at her, as did the gaggle of Mages surrounding her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before looking back at the woman once more. "I apologize, that was uncalled for. I will take my leave."

She turned and, rather than going back to the safety and confinement of her cabin, walked to the woods some distance away. She wanted to be alone but without feeling imprisoned. If she had to place a bet, she doubted she'd have five minutes before one of the men came to check on her.

No matter what, she knew it wouldn't be Rylen. She didn't know the man well at all, and it was unlikely Cullen would send him for fear she might take the naive man's head off for saying the wrong thing. Bull might send Krem in his stead while he distracted the others from what they had witnessed, or he might come himself. And of course, there was a chance Cullen might come as well.

Honestly, she was hoping for Krem. She felt too small and vulnerable right now to want to face Bull and have that feeling made worse for feeling it physically as well as emotionally. Krem wouldn't have that affect, and their time on the roads together had shown him to be good company and a fast friend.

She found she'd been subconsciously walking uphill, over rocks and across small streams as she came to them. A path that would be most difficult to follow, should one be in full armour. She might not be able to stop Cullen following, but maybe with enough deterring, he might give up the chase before reaching her.

It was only when she noticed the trickle of sweat running down her neck, her breathing having been difficult for some time, that she finally decided she was far enough away that even Bull wouldn't pursue her. She collapsed on a rock beside a tree, resting her back against the tree as she closed her eyes and caught her breath.

The thrumming of her racing heart was almost calming in her ears, drowning out her surroundings so that, even just for a little while, she could pretend she had been taken into the void, nothing and noone around her. If she tried hard, she could almost convince herself she could release her burdens, if only for a short time. That she could pick them up again once she left the void. She regretted it once she had though, it gave her heart the opportunity to let itself be heard, and that was a torture all of its own

Her eyes snapped open, only to find Cullen sitting across from her, crouched low as he drew in the sand. She found it amusing when she realized he had drawn a chessboard and was mid-game with himself. How long had she been there, had _he_ been there, that he could be that far into the game already?

She must have given some indication that she had noticed him, because even though he didn't look up, he began to speak.

"When my older sister, Mia, got upset, she would throw herself into work. Cooking or cleaning mostly, but if we were especially lucky, baking. The rest of us learned to keep out of her way lest she demand we help.

I would usually wander off. I'd almost always go to the same place - this old dock by the lake. I wanted to be found but preferred to sit quietly with whoever found me. Their silent vigil giving me strength to work through whatever was bothering me.

Branson was the opposite. He would go off and if someone did by chance find him, he would just go off again or be in a right bad mood. He didn't want to be found, wanted to come back in his own time.

And then Rosalie, the youngest, was the opposite in the other way. She was like me in that she wanted to be found, but she didn't like the quiet. She wanted to stay quiet but have a constant voice beside her."

He gave a low chuckle. "I remember once when she was the one sent to find me. I was so annoyed at her inability to stay quiet for even a minute that I actually pushed her into the lake." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Probably wouldn't have been so bad had Mia or I begun teaching her to swim by then. As it was, that became my punishment. She's an excellent swimmer now for it," he added, just a little proud of the fact.

He stopped talking then, looking up at her meaningfully before going back to his game, glancing up every few moves.

She thought about his unspoken question for a long time, giving a soft chuckle when she came to her answer. "How awkward would it be if I said Branson right now?"

He laughed too. "I had considered that but assumed you would have stormed off by now if that were the case. You already hate me, so it's not really like I could have made it worse. Would have been worse if you said you were like me though. Glad there isn’t a lake around - it doesn’t matter how well I swim, I’m sinking in this armour."

"Fair point," she agreed, looking at his board again. He was losing...well, that wasn't exactly possible, but the player he projected across from him was currently winning the game.

"Rosalie," she finally answered.

He looked up at her, then gave a small nod, before dropping his stick to give her his full attention. "I'm going to assume you know the story of the Hero of Ferelden, mostly because _everyone_ that hasn't been living under a rock for the last decade knows her.

The thing I find...oh I'm going to get this all mixed up all over the place. Why are words so...wordy," he growled softly. "So, I find a number of things a bit strange about her companions. The first being that everyone usually tends to not talk about them during the stories. It's always 'The Hero of Ferelden did this or that,' never 'The Hero of Ferelden and her motley crew did this or that.'

She was their leader, and she saved my life, so I most certainly am not saying she doesn't deserve every acknowledgement of recognition she gets. I just...find it strange. Even her romance with Alistair is told somewhat apart from the other stories, as though the two happened in isolation.

Mentioning Alistair is another thing I find strange about her companions - for all they are a motley crew and had little in common before joining together to defeat the Blight...I had already met a third of them before it began...and that...it just seems too coincidental at times."

He looked at her then, and she seemed curious enough in this, so he continued.

"I'm not sure how familiar you are with the Hero's companions. Obviously, everyone hears about Alistair, some have heard about Barkspawn, her incredible mabari. Beyond that, I think the other seven only get vague mentions depending on the audience's interests.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you had heard she travelled with Wynne, may she rest in peace, and possibly Morrigan too. I’d quite happily never encounter Morrigan again…and I’m getting ahead of myself...again.

Alright, so the ones I’d met before it all began…and I should admit saying met is probably fairly strong term for the first. I’m from a small town, Honnleath. Considering you think the Hinterlands are the ass end of nowhere, I perish to think how you’d describe Honnleath.

A long time ago, there was a mage who had his own dwarven golem. It’s said he kept to himself mostly, and I was too young when I left to really care much about someone who had died before I was even born…but his death is what gave our town the most unusual centre statue. It’s said that the golem murdered him, though given that golems were meant to obey their masters orders, it always seemed a little far-fetched to me. Don't tell his family I said as much though.

So, in short, the golem statue that I played on as a child and climbed up on the shoulders of to win a game of keep-away more than once, would one day be reactivated and work with the Hero calling herself Shale. I’ve heard rumour she was still awake that whole time, just unable to move in any way…I’m loathe to think what awful memories she has.

Next on the list of companions was actually Alistair himself. I knew I wanted to be a Templar from too young an age to even understand what it really meant…Mia retells the story of her eight-year-old little brother declaring this desire far better than I could do justice.

Despite that, I joined the Order rather late at the ripe old age of thirteen. I was embarrassingly devoted to my studies almost to the exact degree Alistair was not. Where I had always wanted to be a Templar and was fulfilling my own dream, for him it was…kind of a punishment? Being sent away.

Anyway, I think they assigned us to be roommates at the start to try have positive influences on each other. It…kind of worked. Alistair only fell asleep to the especially boring lectures rather than _all_ the lectures, and I was roped into more than the occasional prank. Many roommates tend to try get as far from each other as possible once we move into the shared room, but he and I were close enough that we just became bunkmates instead…except when it was beans for dinner, then I was right there with everyone else locking him out the dorm.”

“That’s disgusting,” she quipped, laughter in her voice.

He grinned back. “Not as disgusting as…men are vulgar at the best of times.

A few months after Alistair had been conscripted to the Wardens, I took my oaths and was assigned to Kinloch, which is where I met Wynne. If there was ever a woman who could make you think she was the kindliest old grandmother one minute and then red with embarrassment at a memory she’d shared the next, that was Wynne.

I wish…I wish I’d had a chance to tell her I was wrong…and to thank her for not judging me harshly at the time for it.” He paused for a time to ensure his emotions were under control before continuing. “So those were the three I knew before the Hero was the Hero. At Kinloch I met the absolutely stunning Barkspawn, her mabari that I mentioned earlier, as well as Morrigan and Zevran.

Later, after the Qunari invasion that didn’t succeed in Kirkwall, I met Sten…or I guess Arishok. Sten sounds like a name, not a title…it’s weird. And finally, we work with Leliana. The only companion I haven’t met now is Oghren the dwarf."

"Well we have that in common, among other things," she replied quietly.

He smiled at her then, an infectious smile as though her simply wanting to speak to him was the most precious thing in the world. "That could be Varric's next book - _'Oghren, the elusive dwarven hero'_."

She actually laughed at that, even though it wasn't really funny.

"What else do we have in common?" he asked gently.

She looked at him for a moment before deciding to answer. "Finding out what we'd be when we were eight. I slammed a door shut. I was standing on the other side of the room at the time. Neither of my parents realized, they just thought I was being exceptionally naughty. I was punished and told not to do it again, which I misunderstood for my part. It was another year before they realized what I was and I was collected by Templars within the week."

"That's quite young," he murmured softly, not pressing, just observing.

She shrugged. "There were a few other children in my Circle then, so it didn't feel too bad. It was a good Circle for a long time." She trailed off, not wanting to say more about either Circle just now.

Again, he didn't press, instead turning the conversation slightly. "Do you have any siblings?"

She nodded. "An older brother...much older. He was the reason I slammed the door. He was leaving to join King Cailen's army."

If he'd asked, she probably wouldn't have answered. But he didn't ask, just nodded, and she could tell he would change the topic again for her, so she answered what he didn't ask instead. "I don't know." This honesty surprised her given that she didn't give the full truth about her siblings. She supposed she liked the anonymity the omission gave her.

Cullen had the good sense to not pretend he didn't understand her statement. "We could find out, if you'd like?"

She shook her head. "No. I was told my family was no longer mine when I entered the Circle...which was a bit of a farce. I changed Circles not long after that. My Circle was my family, even after I…left.

And...I suppose not knowing is better. Not knowing means he might not have been at Ostagar that day, might have been home with his own family because his wife had just given birth. He would mourn his comrades, but go on to be a good father, a good husband. You know, all those homely things a girl wants for their brother and yet men think of as completely unmanly."

He chuckled then. "I think you and Mia would get along quite well."

They sat in silence for a long time then, both thinking of their siblings. He found himself looking at the game in the sand he'd all but forgotten. She looked at it too. "I don't think you can win," she told him after a time.

"No, I don't think so either," he chuckled.

"You could make it a stalemate, but that would require playing a stupid move," she added, moving closer to ensure she was right about her assessment.

He kept his head low, moving only his eyes as he glanced up at her, seeing she was right next to the 'board' now. "What would you do?" he asked, holding the stick out to her.

It hung between them for so long he was about to drop it again when she finally took it and made her move. "I'm nothing if not stupid," she replied.

He did look up at her then. "I highly doubt that." He paused, trying to decide whether to ask or not. "Did you want to talk about what happened? Back in Haven I mean, with the Mage."

"The one who has an endless supply of questions about you?" she clarified just to be a little evil.

He blushed. "Umm...yes. That one."

She scrubbed her face, trying to think of the right words. "I've already mentioned my reasons for hating you are personal. _And_ that I won't let them affect how others see you. But it's one thing to be vaguely courteous around you so people won't think to question it and something completely different when they're asking such probing questions that half the time I'm left with either answering in a way that sounds too complimentary, bordering on inappropriate, or one that would betray my own feelings. The neutral option usually sounding like I'm trying to avoid the question."

"I seem to have put you in quite the predicament with my trying to be a good man," he teased.

"You have _no_ idea." She looked over the board again. "You could actually win now."

He didn't, playing the same intended move to leave them in stalemate.

"Would you maybe like to leave Haven earlier than planned? Not for the whole expedition we originally planned, but just to get away for a bit. I could send word once the umm...attention dies down."

She actually snorted at that but appreciated the offer. "Honestly, I think that would be for the best at this point. Last thing we need is me blowing a gasket and turning all our followers into toads."

"Is it really possible to do that? Like I know the stereotypical evil Mage always does in stories...but does it really happen?"

Britania chuckled. "I've no idea. I've heard of Mages that can shapeshift, but it's not exactly something they taught or kept volumes on in the Circles."

"There is that. Would be very unbecoming to try marching as a frog," he quipped.

"Alright, enough bad jokes," she teased, standing up. "We should head back before my next line of questions becomes even more inappropriate." She offered her hand to help him up.

Cullen was surprised but took it. Not because he needed it, but because it felt like a turning point he wanted to make.

"Will you ever tell me?" he asked quietly. "Why you hate me?"

Britania sighed, biting her lip. Eventually she sighed again and looked him straight in the eye. "You had a bad day once. As a result, my life...took a downward spiral." She swallowed hard, holding his gaze, letting him see the despair there. "It wasn't your fault, not _directly_ , but even so...I've hated you ever since."

That hadn't been what he'd expected at all. He had thought it was something like if she had been at Kinloch on that awful day and heard what he'd said in his fear and panic. He believed any mage deserved to be angry and even hate him for that.

But it hadn't been Kinloch. Hadn't even been something that made her angry. Truth be told, the despair seemed far worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Don't think I've ever had Cullen talk so much...or will again. Figured HoF was one of few safe topics he could just ramble on about at length...though for me it was more about the chess game :3


	11. Sparrows

True to his word, once they returned to Haven Cullen made all the necessary arrangements so Britania's team could leave that same afternoon if she wished while she went and caught up with Bull and Krem. She politely refused Cullen's offer, saying one more night in an actual bed was better than late night camp set up, so instead he called a war table meeting to go over the details.

Josie and Leliana seemed vaguely frustrated by this, actually sighing in exasperation at times, but for her part Britania appreciated it and didn't show a single sign of annoyance at being kept away from the gossiping Mages for a few hours.

He accompanied her to dinner, and though they only spoke of his plans for expanding their forces and her upcoming trip to Orlais, they both knew it was something that wouldn't have happened the day before.

Walking together back towards their respective homes, she glanced over at him without speaking so often that he finally stopped near the stairs. "Out with it," he demanded, though his tone was gentle.

"I...I don't like using the ravens for messages," she told him. "I have a sparrow I prefer. I'll send word when we reach the coast. If you want to send word, I'd appreciate it coming by the sparrow."

He raised a brow at her, seeing through her subtly. "Does Leliana know about your bypassing her security?"

She brushed a stray hair from her face, not quite able to meet his gaze. "I haven't used it often in hopes of not drawing attention to the fact," she replied.

"So that would be a presumed no and hoping to keep it that way?"

"If you feel uncomfortable with the arrangement---"

"Hardly. Considering I know neither of us are likely to share sensitive information, and knowing she won't be teasing me relentlessly about my inability to find the right words? It will make a refreshing change. So, I'll send word when these lot come to their senses and realize I'm not worth wasting their time over?"

"That would be grand...and I mean, if there's other interesting news or anything..." she trailed off, regretting having said so much.

He smiled back. "Likewise...well I guess all your outings are a bit exciting, but if there are any you'd like to share, I can live vicariously through your adventures." He blushed a little, also regretting his words.

"Oh, you will be riveted! Things like _'Today, we found a single jar of Horn Balm in a trunk. The Iron Bull was so excited he bought the entire tavern two rounds that night'_." She shook her head with a bit of a laugh, "I wish I was joking about that."

"I look forward to being greatly entertained if nothing else. Anyway, I should let you make the most of your last night in a proper bed for a while. Good night, Britania."

"Good night, Commander. Sleep well."

~~~

He could tell she hadn't expected to see him the next day before they left as they wanted to make an early start. Her look of surprise at seeing him having breakfast with Bull and Krem was a little comical.

Krem would be staying behind to continue helping with the training, while Bull would be going with her, as would Varric and Dorian. He watched as she took her pack over to the stable hands so they could put it with her saddlebags before she returned and had breakfast with them.

Bull was leaving most of the Chargers behind and Cullen was paying attention to the way he handled leaving Krem in charge. He could see what Bull had meant about everyone being trained to fill the position above them. He had no doubt that should it be needed, Krem could take Bull's place, as Bull probably knew all too well.

Varric and Dorian joined them a little while later, Dorian looking like he was doing so by crossbow point. Clearly those travelling with him weren't too keen on Dorian's getting his complaining into full swing, so they grabbed a few things for a packed breakfast and said their farewells before setting off, much to Dorian's annoyance.

Cullen thought it a bit strange. They hadn't really been getting along for more than a day, nor had she ever been in Haven for any great length of time, but he felt like something was missing with her gone. Not a big thing, just a...a niggle at the back of his mind. As though there were something he should be doing or a conversation he should be having.

He decided it was more likely he still wasn't used to the free time the new system afforded him and went to finish writing his responses to reports that only he could do.

~~~

A few hours later he found himself standing watching the training next to Krem. Krem seemed to enjoy helping Cullen's men learn how to train the others rather than doing it himself, though Cullen decided this was because he didn't know these soldiers as well. Cullen had seen him train the Chargers earlier that day and he'd done so quite happily.

"Not wanting to draw too much attention, but that sparrow seems to trying to get yours," Krem said with a smirk.

Cullen looked at the bird that was perched on the rail they were leaning on. It had pecked at him a couple of times and he thought maybe it was foolishly trying to get food from his mantle as he brushed it away. But Krem was right, it was definitely up to something.

It was then he noticed the tiny scroll looped to its leg, much more discrete than the small cannisters on the ravens.

Cullen grinned, holding out a hand and taking some delight in the fact it happily hopped onto his finger, lifting its leg ever so slightly to give him better access to the scroll. Seeing only Krem was paying any attention, he quickly slipped it from the bird’s leg, dropping the sparrow back to the rail where it seemed content to sit and twitter while he opened the scroll.

Looking at the three words Cullen was both confused and delighted.

_Pawn to C4_

He looked over at the men training, at Krem, at the note and at the sparrow.

"Go on," Krem encouraged, nudging him towards his tent. "We've got everything covered here."

Cullen shouldn't have felt so grateful, shouldn't consider that Krem was right, and most certainly shouldn't have taken the sparrow straight to his tent and set up his own chessboard on the table near his cot.

But for all the things he shouldn't do, he did every last one, and then a few more besides as he pulled out parchment and quill.

_Your adventures are meant to be exciting. Pawn to E6._

He rolled the note and attached it to the sparrow, which had been flitting about his desk. Because it was something unlikely to be possible again, he gave the small creature a gentle pat along its head and neck with only his index finger which is seemed to quite enjoy, before it gave a little shake and flew off.

Cullen was having lunch when it returned. Krem gave him a knowing smile as he fed it some of his bread before taking the rest of his lunch to his tent.

_V can't understand how all B does is drink and fight for his job. Talked about it for HOURS now. Speaking of B, using his terms for pieces just to keep it interesting. Ben-Hassrath to F3_

"Knights are Ben-Hassrath?" Cullen asked the sparrow, not really expecting an answer. He shook his head, deciding he could always ask Bull about it on their return.

_Considering that that's two-thirds of V's job, I don't see how he doesn't understand. Pawn to D5._

If anyone noticed the small plate of crumbs on his desk later on, they didn't mention it.

~~~

_Two thirds of V's job and double yours. Pawn to D4_

Cullen hmphed at the sparrow in indignation.

_I drink! Knight to F6_

_Could have fooled me. And of course you would decline Queen's Gambit. Ben-Hassrath to C3_

He knew she was goading him, but he figured she was really just bored. It would take them two days to get to the coast, so there wasn't much to do other than talk to the others, who seemed preoccupied with conversations of what activities were necessary to consider yourself a spy, or looking over the countryside. Seeing as there was not much in the way of either of these, trying to rile him seemed to be her next best bet.

_What's wrong with declining Queen's Gambit? Mage to E7_

_Would you be so quick to decline a King's Gambit? Tamassran to G5_

_I feel there is no right answer I can give. Castling._

He was glad the bird had flown off a few minutes before the drill sergeants arrived. He and Krem wanted to go over how they felt the training was going and what they felt they needed, as well as so he and Krem could try offer them some pointers. He wasn’t sure any of them would have taken him quite as seriously if they'd witnessed him patting a sparrow before the meeting.

_Which is your way of saying you think it's fine for a King to gambit but not a Queen. Typical. Pawn to E3._

He wanted to deny her statement wholeheartedly, but he knew he couldn't. He knew if Bull and her suggested the same plan where they each would take the bigger risk, he'd more readily accept Bull's version. But Bull was a warrior. If it were Solas or Britania...Solas. Dorian or Britania...Dorian.

Maker was he so sexist that he would accept any man's plan over hers if it meant she stayed out of danger? It wasn't even like he had a choice in the matter. She threw herself into danger whether he wanted her to or not.

Maybe that had more to do with it than he gave himself credit. He couldn't stop her being in dangerous situations, so when he imagined having control over it, he would. It still didn't sit well with him, so he decided to avoid the statement.

_Are we in danger of over-exerting this poor bird to death today? Pawn to H6_

It was many hours later that he started to worry he'd said the wrong thing as the sparrow didn't return. All his duties were fulfilled for the day, he'd had dinner with Krem and Rylen. Discovered he'd been out of public areas most of the day as suddenly Mages were sitting beside them, wanting to chat. Even as he made his way back to his tent, they continued to make small chat until Krem finally took pity on him and said something about a meeting they had to attend.

The pair went back to his tent and chatted for a while, Cullen grateful for the distraction as he decided by now most sparrows would prefer to be sleeping than flying, so he likely wouldn't be getting another message tonight.

Krem seemed to pick up on his thoughts as he gave Cullen a knowing grin. "So, you two managed to sort your differences then?"

"Hardly. I think we've just found a workable truce for the time being." _Probably helped by her boredom and a shared pleasure of chess_ , he thought, but didn't want to share that piece of information.

“For what it’s worth, she doesn’t seem to hate you nearly as much as she did a few weeks ago,” Krem offered.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. “It was that obvious?”

Krem chuckled. “I met her the day you sent her back to the Hinterlands,” he explained.

“Yes…that was…quite the bad day,” Cullen agreed.

 _"You had a bad day once. As a result, my life took a downward spiral."_ Her words rung in his ears. Apparently, he was still having that affect.

“Chief considered whether she might be hiring us to murder you lot. Had to be sure we were all square with what we might be getting ourselves into,” Krem told him.

Cullen was a bit shocked by this. “So…if she ordered you to kill me?”

“We’d try talk her down to torture first. If she was having none of that, we’d give you a fast, clean death. More than we offer most,” he added, as though this was extremely generous on their part.

“Are you sure you should be telling me this?” Cullen asked, trying to keep the mild horror he felt well hidden.

Krem shrugged. “Just don’t give her reason to want to kill you and it’ll be fine.”

That got Cullen to laugh, releasing the tension the conversation had begun to draw. “You remember that she hates me, right?” he asked, though it was much lighter than it would have felt earlier.

“Haven’t forgotten. But I’ve also noticed how close friends you’ve become with her sparrow today…and I have a feeling you’ll likely be just as fast friends with the elf owl tonight,” he added.

At Cullen’s confused look, he nodded at the candle on Cullen’s desk. Wait, not the candle, behind the candle. There was a small owl, smaller than any he’d seen before. And it was quietly snapping up any moth that was foolish enough to come near the flame.

Cullen stared at it for near a minute trying to think of a way to politely suggest he should read the note. When he turned back to the other man, Krem was laughing silently.

“I’ll leave you to it, Commander. I know you must have a lot of…strategic work to do this evening,” he said as he stood. He paused with hands on the back of his chair, his face suddenly very serious. "I'm sure it goes without saying - if you hurt her, I'll kill you myself," he said very quietly.

"Without saying?" was all Cullen could bring himself to say.

Krem shrugged. "I like to make sure everyone's clear. Just think of me as her overprotective big brother...but without the qualms of teasing you relentlessly about her," he added with a grin, making his way to the tent entrance. "Don’t stay up all night,” he teased before leaving the tent.

Cullen felt his cheeks burning, but it wasn’t enough to deter him from turning immediately to the owl. He would think more on the other man's words later, after the message was read and replied to. The owl, for its part, seemed a bit put out to have to shuffle to give the note rather than focusing on possible snacks.

_I suppose in a big city like Honnleath, you wouldn’t see many birds. As a farm girl, let me educate you – they spend most of their days flying. Tamassran to H4_

_Wench!_

He’d written it before he could even consider how she’d take it. And for some reason he wanted to give her the honest response, but also let her know he knew it wasn’t entirely appropriate.

~~_Wench!_ ~~ _Thank you for educating me, I’d be lost without your intervention. Pawn to B6_

~~_You_ ~~ ~~_ are _ ~~ ~~_lost without me._ ~~ _You shouldn’t have crossed out your initial response. Maker, do all Ferelden’s snore so badly?? …wait B isn’t really Ferelden…point still stands. Pawn takes pawn at D5_

_Yours most certainly deserved to be crossed out. Is that why you’re awake so late? Knight takes pawn at D5_

Her next note had splotches and had his heart racing before he had time to read why she had been crying over her longest note so far.

_No, it’s our riveting chess game keeping me up. Oh Maker…I have a feeling B will be teasing you on our return. D’s been waking on and off to the snoring, cursing something fierce every time. Anyway, he apparently had enough of it and actually sent a bolt at B’s foot (he can’t fit them in our tents). I burst out laughing but had light out before he woke proper._

_He still thought it was me though and I heard him coming over to whatever and I was thinking to slow or too fast, thought I’d make out like I’d been laughing in my sleep and I had to think of something and then the Mages question about what sort of kisser you are popped into my head and your wondering if I could turn you into a toad, and then I was blurting out ‘Snogs like a frog’ and I really was laughing then, Maker I’m still laughing at it now (sorry, it’s probably not as funny thinking of yourself as being described as snogging like a frog)._

_Anyway, I sat up as though I’d woken from the fit of laughter and looked at him…he didn’t look like he had bought it at all, but maybe that I’m a little crazy when I’m tired, so he just went back to bed. Maker D just mumbled ‘Snogs like a frog’ and has us both cackling…_

Her writing had become near illegible towards the end and he was certain it was most likely the fault of her continued laugher.

_You wound me, my lady. I will offer Bull a demonstration should he believe your slander. Your move?_

It was late and he didn’t expect a reply, though he let the candle burn itself out as he fell asleep.

~~~

The next morning he’d only just completed his morning ablutions and gotten his armour on when the sparrow arrived.

_Maker, I woke up to your message this morning. My stomach hurts from laughing. Dorian would like to know why he doesn’t get the same offer. Tamassran takes Pawn at E7_

Cullen blushed. He wasn’t all together surprised she’d shared the offer if only to explain her laughter, but it had been a bolder statement than he was known to make. He thought about his response for a while before penning it.

_Tell him it’s because Bull will at least attempt to determine the credibility of your slander. Dorian however will be too focused on copping a feel and likely suggest a second go to be sure of any conclusions. I’ll bite, Queen takes Mage E7_

_PS Why was Dorian asking you how I kissed in the first place?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know technically Dorian wouldn't have joined yet since they haven't been to Redcliffe yet...but I figure there's only so much time you should spend in the Hinterlands before he seeks you out and try convince you to go there himself...and I desperately wanted him here for this scene :#)
> 
> Also, I hope the way I formatted the notes made them clear enough. If not, let me know and I'll try something else.
> 
> And, I don't play much chess, so I'm just having them follow a famous game. I'll link where I got it from once the victor of the game is known #NoSpoilers XD


	12. New Ally and Wicked Tongues

Britania and her companions were making good time towards the coast.  If they kept it up, they'd likely be there before lunch.  That combined with Dorian's good humour given the events of the night before, and everyone was in high spirits as they travelled.

She slowed Maysa a bit as the sparrow flitted around her, and wasn't surprised to see Dorian and then Bull doing the same.

"How is our _amphibious_ Commander this morning?" Dorian asked once she'd read the note and giggles had subsided.

"In good spirits it seems," she replied.  "He says to tell you," she cleared her throat before doing an awful impression of Cullen's voice, " _It’s because Bull will at least attempt to determine the credibility of your slander.  Dorian however will be too focused on copping a feel and likely suggest a second go to be sure of any conclusions._ "

Dorian grinned.  "Well, he can't blame me for trying," he told her, as though the deed were already done.

Bull grinned.  "I look forward to making judgement."

That got everyone laughing again.

She quickly pulled Maysa to a halt, pulling out parchment and quill as she did.

_Bull's excited.  Not Dorian, the Mage back at Haven.  I'll be sure to give them a full report once Bull has made judgement.  Ben-Hassrath takes Knight at D5_

"So, you two seem to be getting along better now," Varric mused when she had Maysa trotting back to them, sparrow on it's way.

"By which you mean I'm not constantly voicing the many ways I want to kill him?" she replied.

Varric chuckled.  "Yeah, it's kind of distracting.  Especially when we're back at Haven and trying _not_ to remember some of your more descriptive assassination plans."

"I wouldn't call it assassination," Bull chimed in.  "It's closer to plain old murder."

"Ah, what a _delightful_ direction the conversation has taken," Dorian announced sourly.

~~~

_I take it this was the Mage that annoyed you so?  Pawn takes Ben-Hassrath at D5_

_Obviously her, but others too.  Apparently your kissing skills have become quite the popular topic.  Tower to C1_

_That would be overstating it I'm sure.  Mage to E6_

_Hardly.  I believe one has even started a story about it.  Commander's Kisses or some such.  Queen to A4._

_Maker, you must be joking.  Pawn to C5_

_I'll see about getting you a copy when I'm back in Haven.  And here I'd thought Haven was cold! Queen to A3_

_It all seems a little too far-fetched to believe. Being at sea often is colder.  Tower to C8_

_Less far-fetched than them thinking I have any idea how you kiss.  Destination isn't any warmer.  Tamassran to B5_

_Apparently you do.  Snogs like a frog if I recall.  Pawn to A6._

~~~  


That got her laughing again.  They'd reached the coast just before lunch and settled aboard the boat Leliana had arranged for them.  She felt a little guilty that she hadn't sent a single message to Krem today.  The poor sparrow had been relegated to just flying directly between her and Cullen all day, only made worse as it had to get back to the ship twice as they'd sailed to Val Royeaux before happily taking his rest as the elf owl took over.

Word of their progress had gone with the official raven, so she didn't waste time with it in her messages, but _Maker_ did she wish she could have been there if Leliana had read the full message to them at the War Table.

> _We have arrived at coast sooner than expected.  The Captain thinks we should reach our destination by mid-tomorrow, though Dorian and I plan to speed it along a bit._
> 
> _Dorian has asked I pass on that this area seems to have more frogs than most and wonders if this is the area the fable of snogging a frog that turns into Prince Charming was created._
> 
> _Bull's response is there are things he will happily judge, but this isn't one of them._
> 
> _Varric says he takes bets but makes no comment._
> 
> _In short, everyone is in high spirits and we'll send word on our arrival._

Dorian had actually made her rewrite the whole first half when she'd simply written 'kissing a frog', stating that she couldn't very well just cross it out since that would draw too much attention.  As though the whole thing didn't reek of hidden messages already.

She should have made the most of Dorian's good mood though.  It was short lived once they reached the docks and went aboard.  He did help with gusts of wind to the sails, but more sporadically than she'd originally expected.  Either way they'd made good time arriving in the early hours of the next morning, only Varric and Bull having gotten sleep as she had remained creating wind while Dorian remained hung over the rail.

> _We've arrived_
> 
> _Bull isn't sure why we couldn't have just stayed the night on the boat._
> 
> _Dorian says he will set fire to Bull if we stay on the boat a minute longer than necessary._
> 
> _Varric says he takes bets but makes no comment._
> 
> _In short, they're all tired and grumpy._

The plan was simple - sleep late into the day before attending the First Enchanter's salon later that evening.

~~~

The following morning Britania sat at the dining table of the small house they were staying.  Her coffee had grown cold against her hand, the other tapping her quill against her notebook as she stared at the single line on the parchment next to it.

Her notebook held the only message from Cullen she'd received the day before, ironically with an identical move to hers since they'd both taken each other's pawn at C5.

Bull had come in some minutes before and she could feel his eyes on her.  He probably thought she was such a fool.  A heartless fool.

"Stop stewing on it.  Just send the report and let’s head back," he told her, coming to look over her shoulder as though he'd been reading her thoughts.

Dorian and Varric entered then, both with more subdued greetings than normal.  There was no way Britania could know this was their attempt at supporting her, not because of her.

Bull took her quill from her fingers, scrawling something on the page before passing it down to Dorian, he scratched his own note, repeating with Varric before it was passed back to her.

She read it, giving a hollow laugh before scribing the final line and sending it on its way.

> _We have a new ally._
> 
> _Bull says by Chevalier code the man's life was forfeit the moment he touched his weapon._
> 
> _Dorian says he'll no longer be the scariest mage in Haven._
> 
> _Varric says he takes bets but is looking forward to being home._
> 
> _In short, we are starting our return imminently._

~~~

_Castling._

_Are you alright?  Tower to A7_

_Tamassran to E2_

_You know I'm not good with words and I can't exactly write a long distracting tale for you to read without worrying about this poor sparrow.  So please indulge me.  Are you alright?  Is the distraction of chess enough?_

_Yes.  Your move._

_Knight to D7_

_Tell me it's warmer in Haven._

_I...assume so?  It's no different to when you left so far as I can tell._

_It was a stupid joke!  I said a stupid joke that meant NOTHING and a man is dead because of it.  How can anything be alright when I killed a man just by saying something stupid.  Maker, why am I always so stupid???_

_It wasn't your fault._

_You don't get to say that.  You weren't there._

_No, but I've discussed it with the others.  We all agree it likely wouldn't have made a difference what you'd said.  As Bull mentioned, by the code he lived by, his life was already forfeit.  Just because we may not have taken it doesn't mean they wouldn't._

_He seemed a total ass but it's still a stupid waste._

_I'm sorry.  But know it wasn't your fault._

~~~

Cullen wasn't sure why he felt the need to send the last message.  Even without the group sending official word once they disembarked the boat, Leliana's scouts had reported when they had arrived (the crossing had taken longer on the way back) as well as their progress since.  He'd even received a messenger from Leliana telling him they weren't far away, that they'd meet at the war table in a matter of hours if that.

He supposed it was because it was his last chance to say something privately to her before her return.

He had enjoyed their messages, more so than he would like to admit though he had no doubt Krem was well aware.  The thought of losing this sliver of camaraderie between them once she returned had already crossed his mind.  With this Marquis having made some threat towards her and in doing so sealed his fate of being killed by the First Enchanter, he wasn't sure he could have held onto it even with their messages. 

He hoped that maybe, if he was lucky, she might send him a message again once she left for the Storm Coast, but he didn't like his chances.

Which was why he was so surprised to find her in such high spirits when he saw her near the stables some time later.

"Run while you can, Curly," Varric told him when he neared them.

At the sound of his nickname, Britania looked up at him from the parchment she was looking at.  "Commander!  Just the man I was hoping to see," she beamed at him.

Most definitely not the reaction he had expected from her.  "Welcome back Herald.  I'm sure you know---"

"I'm expected at the War Table?  Yes, I know,” she nodded, though even this didn’t seem to dampen the wicked grin she now wore.

"Commander, you seem to have a bit of a spring in your step today.  Almost---"

"Don't," Bull cut Dorian off with a groan.  Dorian just glowered at him in return.

Cullen sighed, knowing exactly what Dorian was hinting at.  "I'll let you finish up here and see you in the Chantry?" he told her by way of farewell.

"Oh, I'll come with you now.  I just need to drop my pack in my room on the way.  Can't wait to see your reaction to this," she added, holding up the parchment as she gave Maysa one final pat before leaving her in the hands of the stable boy, her companions chortling behind her.

They walked towards her cabin in silence only until they were out of earshot of the others.  “Do I even want to know what that is?” he asked, forcing his voice to sound wary, though his curiosity was piqued.

She grinned at him.  “Oh this?  Here,” she said too casually as she passed it over to him.

He skimmed over it as she deposited her pack in her cabin and they began walking towards the Chantry.  “This is just one of the Mages notices.  They’ve posted them in a couple of places,” he frowned at her, not seeing the significance of it.  They’d been posting them ever since he’d stepped in with the Templars.  He’d checked the first two to ensure they were okay, but it seemed nothing more than the equivalent of a Mage noticeboard, updated every few days or so.

Her grin seemed to just grow at his inability to grasp whatever he was supposed to.  “Look at the bottom,” she told him as they entered the Chantry.  “Oh, and I think I forgot to mention, Ben-Hassrath to D4,” she added before she left him where he now stood frozen as she continued to the war table, a soft laugh following in her wake.

Her move, both in their chess game and here in the Chantry, registered with him.  But neither could pull him from his frozen horror for a moment as he stared at the single line at the bottom of the page.

> _Wicked Tongues – Part 3 of Commanding My Kisses is now written.  See Cass for a copy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one is a bit of a short one. Wanted a nice light chapter before getting everyone back together in Haven...


	13. Your Move

Britania was torn between keeping the evil grin and hiding it as she watched Leliana nudge Cullen from his shock and get him moving towards the War Table once again. 

She was so tired she could barely stand, but she wanted to keep focus for this meeting. Wanted to remember what they all said about this new ally they'd acquired. Maker how she loathed the thought.

As it was, the discussion around Madame de Fer was so short lived that she needn't have bothered. Josie thought she was extremely well connected and would aid them in getting even more support. Leliana thought she was a skilled mage and would be useful in the battlefield. The pair excused Cullen from needing to make comment with hints that she was another Mage for him to charm despite his penchant for choosing Templars over Mages.

The last rubbed her the wrong way something fierce. When she'd first come to Haven he'd always been about the need for protection from Mages, both directly and protecting Mages from themselves. Then she just had to go and step in one time and suddenly he's the Makers gift to all Mages of Haven.

It had been easier to just hate him for being him. For him being an ass every day as he went around Mages cautiously as though walking on egg shells. Hate him for his past as well as his insufferable need to look for the worst in every Mage, one wrong move and they would attack him without a second thought.

And yet...

He cared. Cared a great deal for his family. Cared for those under his protection. He was changing the way he behaved. And for some reason that made her feel all the worse for finally feeling an inkling of why he acted the way he did, for understanding it, if not agreeing with it either in him or herself.

She could feel her anger pulsing through her once more as though it had a life of its own, and she wasn't even sure who it was directed at. A great portion at herself certainly, but---

"Queen to F8," the murmur brought her so abruptly from her thoughts that for a moment she looked around the room as though seeing it for the first time in hours.

Leliana and Josie were going back and forth about other nobles they could now contact, mentioning names that were all too familiar to her, but neither noticed her distraction nor her return to focus.

She looked at Cullen in his usual position, hands on the table as he often stood when looking over the map. But this time his head was inclined ever so slightly in her direction, his brow raised ever so slightly. She frowned at him. Had he really just said that?

As though answering the question, he murmured again "Queen to F8. Your move?"

She wanted to laugh. Up until this moment the War Room had been this official and infuriating place for her. A place where she got into constant arguments, was told what to do as though she were a child, and generally just never had a good time. But this? Playing their game _here_ of all places? That changed things, if only for the moment.

She thought about it for a short time before replying quietly "Ben-Hassrath takes Mage at E6." She grinned thinking he'd forgotten it was there.

He grins in return. "Pawn takes Ben-Hassrath at E6."

Shit.

"What was that about Ben-Hassrath?" Leliana asked, turning to them.

For his part Cullen looked like he'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Britania on the other hand was tired enough to ignore her usual common sense of not attempting to mess with the Spymaster. "We were just talking about potential troop movements, but you know how formal the Commander is,” she teased, “Soldiers and Chargers are pawns, The Iron Bull is just Ben-Hassrath. Personally, I think the Chargers going to E4 would be better than soldiers and Bull. Wouldn't you agree, Commander?"

He blinked at her completely dumbfounded by her statement. Maybe she was just so tired that even the most non-sensical things were making sense in her head. Or maybe she was just being crazy...or stupid. Or both. It wasn't like she didn't already know she was, not like them thinking it too could hurt her...much. She gave a small sigh, her eyes moving to the map once more.

Cullen cleared his throat. "I still think it would be better if my soldiers were to go to D4."

Her cheeks hurt from the smile that overtook her at his words. "No better than Chargers to F4."

"Would you take them to E7?" he replied.

She burst with laughter as she realized he had coined her the Queen. "Chargers can handle themselves to E5 at least," she told him with a grin.

"Sorry, what are all these locations you are discussing? The map doesn't have the quadrants labelled," Josie interrupted.

Britania looked over at her, remembering they weren't alone. "It was only theoretical...sorry for the distraction."

"Right, well if there's no further _actual_ business," Leliana drawled.

Britania knew when she was being dismissed. She turned to the Spymaster. "I'll take my leave."

She left the Chantry, forcing herself to not look back. She paused at the entranceway, resting her hand on the door frame, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks. What must he think of her now? Always so foolish. Had she really just goaded him into playing chess right in front of Leliana? Acting even more silly by making up new names for the pieces to keep her off the scent if only a little. She shook her head. No time for those thoughts. Things to do, like check in with the Quartermaster.

Who promptly shooed her away, having already been updated by Bull. She stepped up onto the wall to go visit Varric, only to see his usual spot empty. She sighed.

Most of her regular companions would likely either be in the tavern or in their tents getting some much-needed sleep. She supposed she could try that again.

~~~

Cullen watched her go, feeling a little disappointed.

"She seemed in good spirits today," Josie said quietly as she made the final checks on her board.

Leliana scoffed. "Yes, she's a charming drunk."

"Drunk?" Cullen asked, frowning at her.

She gave him a look. "Yes, Commander. Drunk. You should have noticed more than any of us. She's never been so friendly to us, you especially."

He was about to correct her, to explain that the chess game seemed to relieve much of the tension Britania felt. That considering the amount of stress she was under, it was actually good to see her in such a good mood. But Leliana's next words stole all the words from his mouth.

"She's still as argumentative as always though. Maker, would it be so difficult for her to accept our advice with a modicum of grace? You're the Commander of our forces and yet she questions your every suggestion." She turned to him then, clearly awaiting him to agree with her point.

He thought back over the conversation. He supposed from Leliana's perspective they _had_ been fighting over troop movements. Britania had set it up to look that way. "It wasn't like that," he tried to correct her, rubbing the back of his neck.

She tilted her head at him. "Oh Cullen, don't tell me you're trying to charm her too?"

"No! I mean no, it's just---"

"Cullen, she hates us. You know this. Don't let her actions while intoxicated fool you into thinking she could look at us as anything but her personal enemies, no matter her willingness to work with us for the greater good," she told him softly, her face clearly one of concern for her friend.

But the words stung. And worse, he was starting to believe them. He moved towards the door, ready to leave the room which felt suddenly too small.

Leliana stood at his shoulder, nodding in front of him. "See? She can't even stand," she gestured to Britania who was holding herself up by the door frame. "Let's just hope she doesn't do anything more foolish in her current state."

Cullen watched as she shook herself, pulling herself up and began moving again. "Yes...quite," he said. "I'll return to my duties," he said softly before leaving, not surprised to hear Josie and Leliana fall into hushed conversation behind him.

She was meandering from near the Quartermaster to the wall as he left the Chantry. He watched as she leaped onto it and teetered, almost falling off the other side before catching herself and swivelling towards her cabin. Maker's breath, Leliana was right. What a fool he was to think her smile had been for him. She was just a happy drunk. 

The thought hurt. Ignoring her new demeanour after the man's death, she had been friendly and funny in her messages. Had she just been messaging him when she was drunk all that time?

He found himself storming to her cabin, angry that what he'd thought of as the beginnings of friendship between them could actually be something as meagre as her ramblings after a few drinks. _'Snogs like a frog'_ rolled through his mind. The funny jab seemed more like a drunken slur now.

He slammed the door to her cabin open. "Are you drunk?" he spat.

She sat up sharply from where she'd been lying on her back on her bed, the fright clear on her face. "Maker's ass you gave me a fright!" she told him before his question sunk in. She frowned and something else crossed her face. Hurt maybe?

"No," she said softly. "You have to drink to be drunk." A vague look of confusion spread over her face now. "That sentence though...words...maker that hurts my head," she told him, before allowing herself to collapse back down, rubbing her temple and forehead with one hand.

He stepped slowly into the room now, watching her as she lay there. "What's wrong then?" he asked, his voice gentle as he took her in. He'd never seen her anything but full of energy before...normally in a rage. Well, other than that time he found her in the forest, her eyes closed and torment clear on her face---

"I'm just tired, Commander," she replied, breaking his thoughts.

He could see it then. Her usually so expressive face was slack, the beginnings of dark circles forming under her eyes, and a vague look of tension he was familiar with. He didn't even realize how close he had moved to her until she sat up suddenly and he had to step back quickly to avoid being headbutted.

"Woow...okay room spinning a bit," she commented as she braced her hands on the bed. She looked up, just as surprised as he was to find him so close. "Hello there. It's okay, I'm alright now."

He could feel a blush working its way up her neck, grateful she had assumed his nearness was due to concern at her dizziness.

"It's just," she looked up at him, her words trailing off as she met his gaze. She looked down before trying again. "I hate that," her words failed again, her hands forming fists before she pulled them into her lap. She wrung them between each other, her teeth worrying her lower lip. "The thing is," her eyes met his again and he felt a pang rip through his chest. Were those tears in her eyes?

Just as suddenly as her gaze had met his, she pulled it away, shaking herself. She rose quickly to her feet. "I need to talk to Krem," she declared, walking quickly from the room.

"Britania," his voice stopped her only a few steps from the door. She turned her face, but didn't look back at him, causing him to need to swallow hard to get the words out. "Are you alright?"

She sighed as she shook her head. "You need to come up with a new question, Commander," she told him before continuing walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I wanted more at the War Table...I just struggle with writing a Hardened Leliana...or just a nasty one :( DAO Leliana is my Leliana, so even in DAI I still want her to be one of my besties...my first play through I didn't realize I'd spent waaay more time in the Hinterlands than I should have (I'm a completionist, what can I say), I inadvertently missed a convo with her (I had a cut scene convo with her, but should have had two) which hardened her. It wasn't a fun experience...much like writing a hardened Lel at the moment :(
> 
> I'll do my best to make the next one longer


	14. Misunderstandings and Underdogs

Cullen watched her walk away, heading to the training ground where Krem was once again overseeing the trainers. He watched as she nudged the other man, as he looked down at her with a smile and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Of course she couldn't seek comfort from him. She hated him, as Leliana had so tactfully reminded him. It may be lessening, and they may be able to share banter now, but clearly it was still there. She wasn't alright but couldn't even admit to him as much.

Still, at least she had someone she could confide in, seek reassurances from, even if that man wasn't him. And Leliana had been wrong about her being drunk at least. That was something. Suddenly he wasn’t sure if her thoughts on his kissing were better as a jibe or a drunken slur. Wasn't that a charming thought.

She might not be drunk, but he could do with a drink. He left her in Krem’s care, heading to the tavern instead.

~~~

She stood next to Krem - well leaned against him was probably more accurate - as he dropped an arm over her shoulders.

“Hello,” she murmured, making herself comfortable under his arm.

“Welcome back,” he replied. “Not the best trip, I hear?”

She groaned. “Bloody awful. Sorry I didn’t write more often,” she added.

“’s alright, even the messages not addressed to me brought some entertainment,” he teased in return.

“You’re the one that said I should give him a chance!” she growled back.

He raised his hands slightly in defence. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing. Just entertaining.”

She gave a little hmph but made no further comment on it, choosing instead to nudge his shoulder with her head.

“You know Dorian is trying to convince everyone that Andraste herself used the expletive ‘slaf’? He ‘read it in a book somewhere’ or so he says,” he told her with a grin.

“Slaf?”

“Yeah, snogs---”

“Oh for Andraste’s sake!” she cursed.

He chuckled at that. “Problem is he’s well read enough that he _knows_ the quotes anyone trying to prove otherwise uses. It might actually catch on.”

“But no one will even know the joke.”

“Apparently him knowing, and having people saying it around Cullen constantly without _him_ knowing, is entertainment enough. Varric’s already got bets on how long it takes Cullen to work it out.”

“You’ve already placed a bet, haven’t you?” she grumbled.

He beamed. “Why do you think I’m telling you?”

“Ass,” she replied, nudging his shoulder a bit more.

He sighed. “You know you have a perfectly good bed not one minute’s walk away,” he chided her.

“Yeah, but you’re right here, and it’s sunny out. Who wants to be stuck in a cabin on a beautiful day like this?”

“Chief mentioned you’ve been having trouble sleeping,” he said quietly, knowing she wouldn’t appreciate this being overheard.

She growled. “Of course he did.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No,” she growled back.

He rolled his eyes at her. “Do you _need_ to talk about it?”

Another hmph and a long silence.

He waited her out though.

"It's just," she began, sighing before trying again. "I hate that before her, I couldn’t understand why people hated Mages more than anyone else wielding a weapon. An arrow can kill you just as easily if not more so from a distance as a lightning bolt, just like a sword could up close. There’s potions and poisons that can do both as much harm as good as some spells…but everyone seems to think Mages are inherently the most evil people of Thedas.”

“One of them did cause a pretty big bang over Kirkwall way,” he needlessly reminded her.

She sighed. “And literally _anyone_ could have done the same. It’s not like Anders made a magic bomb. Do you have any idea how skilled an apothecary he was? Maker, most of the healings he did he barely used any magic at all. It was part of what kept him off the Chantry radar…a tiny part compared to Varric’s underworld influence but still.

My point is, the bomb was insane…but any skilled apothecary probably could have made it. Not a mage apothecary, _any_ apothecary. Anders magic only made it a little more terrifying to watch.”

“Well…that’s unsettling. There’s also that story about---”

“Kinloch during the Blight right? Where an evil mage was taken over by a Pride Demon and then forced others to become Abominations while demons took over the rest of the Circle, torturing and killing anyone left?”

“Umm…yeah. That one.”

“No Mage is particularly happy about what happened there…but two little details I think are relevant for this conversation are one, demons can actually possess anyone. Sure, they prefer going after Mages, but that’s because we have more to offer them. If you had two potential clients wanting the same work done, but one was an average worker in some small town and the other was a noble in a big city, who would you pick?”

She didn’t give him a chance to answer before doing so herself. “The noble of course, because even if on this deal they pay the same, you know you have better odds of more opportunities from that then the average worker. Same with demons and Mages. We just have more they want.”

“Full of fun facts today, you are,” he told her, faking a shiver, though it was genuinely a little unsettling to think on this.

“It’s not like it’s unheard of. Bull wouldn’t freak out about demons getting in his head so much if they exclusively went after Mages,” she retorted.

“True, but it’s nicer just pretending they do,” he replied.

She may have laughed at that, had she not been overtaken by a massive yawn.

“You mentioned there were a _couple_ of points about Kinloch?”

“Mmm…something something Circles aren’t supposed to be prisons something something,” she mumbled.

“Very succinct.”

“If you can name me two Circles where the Mages in them are happy I’ll…something something,” she returned.

“Tevinter Circles are quite different from the ones down here.”  
  


“Well bully for you lot! If only we could all be transferred up there then,” her eyes had fallen closed in a blink and she hadn’t reopened them. Krem could feel himself supporting a bit more of her weight as she leaned on him.

“So, this new Mage makes you feel differently about all this somehow?” he asked, knowing she wasn’t going to be awake much longer, but still wanting her to voice what was getting to her.

“She’s the first Mage I’ve seen wield her magic not just as a weapon…but…I don’t know. I guess it would be the same as seeing your favourite kitchen knives being used to torture someone…but worse than that. Like they took something precious of yours and _showed off_ about how they could hurt someone with it not just because they could, but also to impress you. Maker I nearly threw up when she did it. And now I can see why Cullen walked on egg shells…still disagree about him doing it around all Mages, but Maker I don’t want to go near her, screw being careful around her.”

“You always call him Cullen when you talk about him,” he pointed out, a bit to his own surprise given the conversation.

“Yeah, ’s his name, isn’t it?”

“It is…but you never call _him_ Cullen.”

“Course I don’t,” she mumbled. “Then I might…” her voice trailed off into incomprehensible sounds before she fell quiet.

‘Then you might what?’ he wondered as she slept leaning against him, his attention going back to the training in front of him, though his thoughts remained with what had gone unsaid.

~~~

Cullen entered the Tavern, not really expecting to see anyone he wanted to sit with. Which was why he was surprised to find Cassandra there, sitting beside Varric at one of the smaller tables.

He ordered himself a meal and ale before going over to join them, choosing the seat opposite Cassandra.

She gave him a nod of greeting but continued looking over the report in her hand while she ate her own lunch.

“Slaf Curly! Long time no see,” Varric greeted him.

“Welcome back, Varric. Enjoy Val Royeaux?” Cullen asked. His mind had been focused on messages from Britania for so long, that the words spilt from him without much thought. “Let me guess, you take bets but no comments?”

That earned a laugh from the dwarf. “Couldn’t have put it better myself.”

Cullen smiled back, actually a little proud of himself for getting a good line in without messing it up. He started eating his lunch as he looked over Cassandra as she flipped to the next report in her pile.

It got him thinking. He took a sip of his ale to think on what he was about to ask, and then a gulp of ale to give him the courage to ask it. He cleared his throat. “Umm Cassandra…it’s come to my attention that you have some...stories in your possession…of a umm romantic nature?”

She looked up at him, eyes wide. “Excuse me?”

“I just thought…given the nature of their content, I might…ask for a copy?” he asked, feeling a blush working its way up his neck already.

“You want me to give you a copy of romance story I have in my possession?” she asked with a horrified expression.

"If it's no trouble...I mean I didn't think it would be given the announcement."

"The announcement? Where?"

“In the Mage bulletin,” he replied.

“WHAT?!?” she screeched.

Their conversation was momentarily halted as Varric, who had been doing his best to contain his laughter, suddenly guffawed with such gusto that actually fell backwards off the bench. The fall did little to stop his laughter, though he did at least pull himself up as his mirth continued.

“Oh Curly, you are _priceless_! You think Seeker reads or _writes_ romance stories? Maker,” he chortled again for a moment as he climbed back onto his seat. “It’s not _Cassandra_ , it’s _Cass_ , the Mage,” he clarified.

“Oh…right,” was all Cullen could get out.

“Let us never speak of this again,” Cassandra told him, her look deadly.

“O-of course,” he replied, trying to ignore Varric’s continued chuckling and murmurings of ‘Seeker reading romance’ as he forced himself to eat his lunch.

~~~

To say he ate his lunch quickly to avoid further embarrassment would be an understatement.

Cassandra pointedly refused to look up from her reports again, probably supremely annoyed at him for even suggesting she like literature of that nature.

Varric on the other hand, kept trying to make eye contact just so he could make little jibes. It wasn't just about the Cassandra mistake either. He had to throw in 'Read any good sparrows lately?' too, as though Cullen weren't feeling embarrassed enough.

He practically breathed in his meal, downing his ale in one long draw to finish as quickly as he could. As he stepped out of the tavern once more, he gulped the fresh air as though he'd been drowning. The sun shone brightly and he looked up at the clear sky, trying to let his embarrassment float away into the ether.

When the weight was one he could bare once more, he looked around, deciding what to do next. He was caught by surprise to see Britania and Krem in almost the exact same position as they'd been when he'd last seen them.

Torn between giving them their privacy and wanting to talk with her now that she'd be more relaxed, he gave in to the latter as he walked over.

He was about to call out a greeting since Britania hadn't looked up at his approach, when Krem looked up at him instead, raising his finger to his lips as he glanced down at her where she still stood beneath his arm.

Cullen frowned as he looked at her before a look of shock crossed his face. "Is she...sleeping?" he said, little more than a whisper.

Krem nodded with a look of amusement. "Only person I know who prefers sleeping on her feet when things get rough," he replied just as quietly.

Cullen's frown only deepened at this. "Why?"

Krem gave a half shrug, trying to keep the one arm as still as possible. "I'm not sure why she prefers standing, just that when she has trouble sleeping, this is what she does. You've known her longer than I have remember."

He hmphed. " _You_ have been on more missions with her. I dare say you know her a great deal better than I could hope to." His head tilted as he continued to stare at her. "What's plaguing her?" he asked, correctly guessing that nightmares were the cause of her inability to sleep.

"This new Mage. She doesn't like," he paused, not wanting to say more than Bri would be comfortable with him sharing.

It wasn't hard for Cullen to put the pieces together though. "She's scared of her...in a way she hasn't been of a Mage before I'd wager," he added. No wonder she hadn't wanted to talk to him about it. She believed he feared all Mages. It wasn't entirely true, but was still close enough to be seen that way. Given how angry she'd been about the way the Templars had viewed the Mages before she stepped in before her trip, fearing a Mage probably didn't sit well with her. And it probably didn't help she blamed herself for the Marquis' death either.

Krem simply nodded. "Chief says she hasn't slept well since whatever happened happened. Not sure if it's the Mage or what the Mage did but...well..." he gave another half-shrug, glancing at her to try express that the final words - whatever it was, this was the result.

Cullen sighed. "I'll try convince the others that she needs a bit of a break before heading to the Storm Coast...maybe a hint from Iron Bull that he'll have some more information shortly, but vague enough to not be questioned too much."

"Solid plan, so long as you can keep her away from the Mage too. I'll let Chief know." He glanced down at her again, before giving Cullen a serious look. "Try keep it subtle though. She has a wicked temper if she feels like she's being coddled or treated like a child."

Cullen chuckled at that. "Yes, I believe I've been on the receiving end of that already."

Krem's own smile grew mischievous. "She told you she'll take her leave a lot?"

Cullen's eyes narrowed. "I used to think it was her standard farewell, but I haven't heard it much recently. Why?"

"She's finally stopped politely telling you to sod off as she leaves," Krem grinned.

Cullen chuckled. "At least that explains why she used it earlier...and with some of the Mages."

"Didn't think you'd be offended by it," Krem gave him a proud nod.

"Why would I be? She's outright told me she hates me countless times. Her subtly is almost refreshing."

"So you've noticed then?"

And Cullen was back to frowning. "Noticed what exactly?"

"She likes words. She hates to lie, but if you give her a loophole, she'll use it."

Cullen nodded and then frowned at him. "Why are you telling me all this?" At Krem's look of confusion, he continued, "Don't misunderstand, I appreciate the help...I'm just...unsure as to why you're offering it so freely."

"Ooh, right. I figure she's been holding onto this grudge against you for too long. I think even she feels it...though I'd rather take on a high dragon than try get her to admit it. I like rooting for the underdog though, it's nice to imagine a day when she isn't planning on killing..."

He trailed off as Britania stretched awake beside him. "Commander, back so soon?" she asked by way of greeting.

"The soon is debatable. Have a good rest?" he teased back.

"Not really. Krem's shoulder is about as hard as his head," she returned easily, digging an elbow in his side for good measure.

"Hah! I do recall pointing out your own bed was within easy walking distance before you decided to sleep out here," he returned.

"I should return to my duties. Thanks for the advice, Krem," Cullen stopped the squabble with his farewell. For all they seemed on verge of a couple at times, at others they really did appear to be siblings.

"Slaf Commander. Until next time," Krem grinned.

Britania waited until Cullen was back in his tent before whacking Krem's arm. "What did you have to go do that for?"

He just laughed in return. "You could have revealed you'd woken up whenever you liked," he retorted.

"What can I say, my curiosity got the better of me," she whined back.

"Hopefully it paid off then," he told her with a grin.

She grinned back. "Yeah, I'll get to kick your ass if the 'underdog' messes up."

Krem raised a brow. "Who says _you're_ not the underdog?"

"I hate you."

He feigned hurt for a moment before asking. "Has anyone told you you're grouchy when you wake up?"

"Only the annoying ones."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Brit probably had more to say on the whole fearing Mages thing (including that she knew what Mage-caused events Krem was going to mention), but sleep won out...also my thinking around the bomb was combo of Anders needing Hawke distracted so he could do whatever in the Chantry, reading somewhere about what some of the things he used for it were (non-magical items...I've tried to refind the post, but have failed :( ), and the Game of Thrones bomb scene (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6oO4p9ghfo), which was also pretty impressive and had no magic just...that green stuff I forget the name of.
> 
> And I love misunderstandings...especially ones with multiple layers ;)


End file.
